The exes are currently stuck in an "unhealthy" cycle, a source tells PEOPLE exclusively

Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett worked hard to separate amicably, but now the estranged couple is stuck in an unhealthy cycle.

“Now that she’s in the process of moving out of their family home, it’s been even harder for her emotionally,” a source close to the reality star tells PEOPLE exclusively. “It’s not a healthy environment and the two of them together has been toxic.”

Leading up to their split announcement, Wilkinson and Baskett were “trying to hold their relationship together” for their kids — Hank Baskett IV, 8, and Alijah, 4 — but the situation has taken a “huge toll” on the former model, says the source.

Premiere Celebration for WE tv's "Kendra on Top" and "Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man"
Hank Baskett and Kendra Wilkinson
| Credit: Isaac Brekken/Getty

“They’re throwing jabs at each other but what they really need is time apart to heal their wounds,” says the source. “Hank baits her and she throws jabs back. They’re really not in a good place right now.”

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After almost nine years of marriage, Wilkinson, 32, filed for divorce in April from the former football player, 35, citing irreconcilable differences, according to court documents obtained by PEOPLE. She listed their separation date as Jan. 1.

The Kendra On Top star is requesting joint legal and physical custody of their children and is also seeking the restoration of her maiden name, Wilkinson.

The former couple’s marriage was rocked by scandal in 2014 when Baskett allegedly had an affair with a transgender model while Wilkinson was eight months pregnant.