“They’ve been having a really tough time especially over the last three to six months,” a source close to the Kendra on Top star tells PEOPLE about the couple, who are not wearing their wedding rings.
“She’s always been someone who wanted to be fully committed, married forever, and was definitely a ‘I’ll never get a divorce’ kind of girl, but she really lost trust in her marriage and she’s realized there’s no turning back,” the source says about Kendra, 32, who admitted in February to having “marital problems” with Hank.
The couple wed in 2009 and have welcomed two children — son Hank IV, 8, and daughter Alijah, 3 — over the course of their nearly nine-year marriage, which was rocked by a scandal four years ago. In 2014, Hank, 35, allegedly had an affair with a transgender model while Kendra was eight months pregnant.
Although the two remained committed to each another in the wake of his cheating scandal and have attempted to make their relationship work, the source says, “Kendra is just not happy. They bicker all the time and she hasn’t been able to trust him.”
Last summer, they faced even more marital strains while they were temporarily living long-distance when Kendra was in Las Vegas, Nevada, for the Off-Broadway comedy, Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man, which was extended through the New Year.
“To be honest with you, it was weak at first. It was really weak. I was starting to really miss home, he was starting to miss me. It was almost like a detox we were both going through because we’re so used to being together every minute of the day. … Now that we’re apart … it was heavy. It was pretty intense,” she told E! News in July.
During her time in Vegas, Kendra flew home to California once a week, but the miles apart weren’t easy on them.
“They’ve grown further and further apart especially while she was in Vegas. He would come to visit her and she went back home about once a week, but it was really hard on them,” the source tells PEOPLE.
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While the likelihood of a split looms, the reality star is dedicating her time and energy to both her children and herself — including spending time with her girlfriends.
“She’s focusing on her kids and making sure they feel safe. She’s been going on hikes, working out, doing a ton of pilates and just trying to stay healthy. She’s also spending a ton of time with girlfriends and has been leaning on them for support. They’ve been trying to help her keep her mind off of her marital issues,” says the source.
As Kendra and Hank navigate the possibility of a split, they are focusing on the wellbeing of their kids.
“They’re still talking, but it’s mostly for the kids. It’s really important to both of them that they don’t traumatize the kids,” says the source. “They’re going to try their best to have a graceful separation.”