A source tells PEOPLE the couple wants a "graceful separation" for the sake of their son Hank IV, 8, and daughter Alijah, 3

By Melody Chiu and Aurelie Corinthios
March 28, 2018 02:10 PM

With their marriage under strain, Kendra Wilkinson Baskett and Hank Baskett are focused on one thing: their children.

This week, a source told PEOPLE that while the couple is preparing to split, they’re intent on a “graceful separation” for the sake of their son Hank IV, 8, and daughter Alijah, 3.

“They’re still talking, but it’s mostly for the kids,” said the source. “It’s really important to both of them that they don’t traumatize the kids.”

According to the insider, the Kendra on Top star is focusing on making sure her children “feel safe” ahead of the looming split, as well as dedicating energy toward bettering herself.

“She’s been going on hikes, working out, doing a ton of pilates and just trying to stay healthy,” said the source. “She’s also spending a ton of time with girlfriends and has been leaning on them for support. They’ve been trying to help her keep her mind off of her marital issues.”

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The Wilkinson-Baskett family

Kendra, 32, and Hank, 35, wed in 2009. Their marriage was rocked by scandal four years when Hank, a former football player, allegedly had an affair with a transgender model while Kendra was eight months pregnant.

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Though the couple remained committed to each another in the wake of the scandal and attempted to make their relationship work, it hasn’t been easy — and last month, Kendra admitted to having “marital problems.” (They also lived apart while she worked in Las Vegas for months last year.)

According to the source, the two “bicker all the time and she hasn’t been able to trust him.”

“Kendra is just not happy,” added the insider. “She’s always been someone who wanted to be fully committed, married forever, and was definitely a ‘I’ll never get a divorce’ kind of girl, but she really lost trust in her marriage and she’s realized there’s no turning back.”