"[My life] sounds perfect," said Scott – "it just doesn't feel good inside"

One month after Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian welcomed son Reign Aston into the world, Scott disappeared on a bender in Aspen.

The reality star had already been photographed in the Colorado ski town in January soon after Reign’s birth, but we now know the extent of his partying thanks to this week’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

The episode saw Kourtney, 36, put her foot down about Scott entering the house drunk, and she forced him to stay over at Khloé‘s house after a night of partying. The message didn’t seem to sink in, though, given his days-long bender in Aspen that followed.

In a conversation with Khloé, 30, and Kim, Scott admitted that he was acting like a hot mess. “It’s getting to the point where it’s not that cute and I just want to calm down,” he said, prompting Kim, 34, to point out that he has three children at home and that she would “just die” if she were Kourtney.

“It’s super bizarre to me that she’s even speaking to me, to be quite honest,” said Scott, 31. “At this point, I think she just feels bad for me and herself. I feel bad for everybody, too. Obviously, this isn’t what I wanted to be doing with my life, but everything has taken a turn.”

He acknowledged that his life “sounds perfect” but that “it just doesn’t feel good inside.”

Later in the episode, Bruce Jenner tried to tell Scott that “it’s important that their dad’s around,” going on to acknowledge his own parental shortcomings with his four eldest children, Burt, Cassandra, Brandon and Brody.

“I definitely go in and out of happy and dark places in my life, and I wish that I could be a little more consistent, and I wish it was a little bit easier for me to be under control, but it’s not,” said Scott. “It’s something I’ve always wanted to change. It’s just not as simple as people think.”

Kourtney appeared to forgive Scott by episode’s end, but it was clear that he’d need to make a change soon. In March, Scott entered a Costa Rican rehab for a weeklong stint, after which he told PEOPLE that he’s “not done. I plan to go back to this place. I’m a work in progress, and anything that I can do to better myself, I’m trying.”

Keeping Up with the Kardashians airs Sundays (9 p.m. ET) on E!

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