Katie Maloney Reveals What Led to Split from Tom Schwartz: 'This Marriage Wasn't the Healthiest'

"I think separating was the best option and the best decision for myself and really for the both of us," Katie Maloney said of her split from Tom Schwartz

Katie Maloney is getting candid about what led to her divorce from Tom Schwartz.

During an appearance on Lindsey Metselaar's We Met At Acme podcast on Sunday, Maloney opened up about the end of their 12-year relationship and her recent decision to file for divorce.

"I had been expressing my feelings and where I felt that I was not getting my needs met and where I thought I was being hurt by some of the behavior, and I don't think he understood or resonated or agreed," the 35-year-old Vanderpump Rules star recalled, claiming that she felt like she "put in the work" with their marriage but it wasn't reciprocated by Schwartz, 39.

"It was one day, I just told him, 'This is how I've been feeling, I'm not feeling very happy.' ... And then he just didn't really do anything," she continued. "I think he thought that I was just gonna get over it or something. And then, it was a couple of weeks later, I had decided that I had wanted to get a divorce."

Though Maloney tried to remain "optimistic" that things would work out, the reality star said she ultimately could not ignore her emotions, which were affecting her emotional and mental wellbeing.

"I didn't realize this is why I'm feeling this way or feeling unfulfilled or unhappy," she said. "I've been bogged down and putting all of my energy into this relationship and when I'm not getting my needs met, it's making me feel really sad and bad about myself."

"I wasn't able to pinpoint it yet because I wasn't able to admit or realize yet that it could be my relationship," she continued. "I didn't want to, because obviously I was in love with him and he was the person I wanted to be with. It's just a really hard thing to come to terms with."

Tom Schwartz; Katie Maloney-Schwartz
Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney. Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images

"I really thought that we were gonna make it work," she added. "I felt that we had overcome a lot together. I felt that we had grown together, and I thought that we would continue growing together. I was very optimistic."

Despite making the difficult decision to divorce, Maloney said she believes "separating was the best option and the best decision for myself and really for the both of us."

"We had both changed and grown apart and that, maybe, this marriage wasn't the healthiest thing for us," she explained. "I was just dying inside, just because I had been thinking about it day and night, and losing sleep over it, and I couldn't keep doing it to myself."

When asked if there was anything Schwartz could have done to save their marriage, Maloney noted that it would've required a major change from her ex.

"It wouldn't just be one thing. It would require there to be a wake-up call or an epiphany," she explained. "I understand you can't really change a person, and I don't necessarily want to."

Admitting that she once exhibited "toxic behaviors," Maloney said, "I didn't want to be the reason that our relationship failed... I put in the work for it, but it took time. So it would require that kind of effort [from Schwartz]."

A rep for Schwartz did not immediately respond to PEOPLE's request for comment.

Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney-Schwartz
Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz. Kevin Winter/Getty

The Vanderpump Rules costars first announced their split on their respective Instagram accounts on March 15.

One week later, Maloney filed for divorce at the Los Angeles Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for their split, according to documents obtained by PEOPLE. The paperwork also listed their separation date as Feb. 12, about a month before the former couple announced their split.

Following news of their breakup, a source told PEOPLE that the couple had been lacking "intimacy" in their relationship "for quite a while."

"They act like terrific roommates," the insider explained, adding that the reality stars are still "a part of each other's lives" despite the breakup.

However, when it came to their future, the source noted that the pair were looking for different things in their relationship, with Schwartz seeking "more flexibility with his life" and Maloney wanting "more of a traditional marriage."

Since announcing their split, the former couple has spent time together, dining at an outdoor patio table at Mister O's in Studio City, California, as seen in photographs obtained by TMZ. The TomTom restaurateur shared a photograph from the meetup, which Maloney reshared on her page. There, she wrote, "It's all good," alongside the image.

Maloney and Schwartz were together for 12 years before their split. Though the pair married in 2016, they didn't file the official paperwork to be legally wed until 2019.

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