Jill Zarin Says She's 'Not Good' Since Her Husband's Death: Support 'Doesn't Fill the Hole'

Jill Zarin also revealed she did not cry during the funeral

The death of her husband Bobby has left Jill Zarin with profound grief and an empty heart.

The Real Housewives of New York City alum, 54, reflected on Bobby’s memorial service, nearly a month since his Jan. 13 death, revealing to Page Six that it has been difficult to move on.

When asked how she was holding up, she told the publication, “Not good,” adding that the support from her many friends “doesn’t fill the hole.”

While many were emotional at the funeral for her husband, the grieving widow revealed her reaction to the ceremony did not result in a need for tissues.

“I didn’t cry at the funeral,” Zarin said of the service held at the Riverside Memorial in N.Y.C. two days after Bobby died following a prolonged cancer battle.

“I thought there was something wrong with me. I’m like, ‘Why am I the only one not crying and everybody’s crying,’ because I had already mourned, weeks before, months before, a year ago,” the mother of one remembered.

March 1 would have been Bobby’s 72nd birthday.

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Though she did not cry at the funeral, the day of Bobby’s death was understandably very emotional.

“Nobody cried more than me in the hospital, literally. It’s crazy,” Jill told Page Six. “But now, Bobby would want me to move on.”

During the funeral, she made a moving eulogy to everyone in attendance including former Real Housewives of New York City stars Bethenny Frankel, Sonja Morgan, Dorinda Medley and Aviva Drescher as well as Million Dollar Matchmaker‘s Patti Stanger and Donald Trump‘s ex-wife Marla Maples.

“I wasn’t sure if I could stand up here today. [Bobby] was an incredibly great husband, a great father, and grandfather, and [a] truly great friend,” Jill said.

WATCH: What Bethenny Frankel Told Jill Zarin at Husband Bobby’s Funeral: ‘Don’t Be Scared’

Also during her speech, she shared that Bobby was in the hospital for 22 days in December 2017. His cancer battle took an unexpected turn that summer.

“There wasn’t a dry eye in the room or a seat available,” Morgan previously told PEOPLE about the funeral.

Bobby was first diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2009 and went on to have his thyroid removed. He also underwent radioactive iodine treatment. However, the cancer returned and spread to his lungs.

In 2016, Jill told PEOPLE that Bobby had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent Gamma Knife Radiosurgery at the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.

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