Jill Duggar Opens Up About Wearing Pants, Going to Therapy & Why She's Not Opposed to Tattoos
Jill (Duggar) Dillard is keeping it raw and real.
In a recent YouTube video with her husband, Derick Dillard, titled "Q&A: Babies, Pants, Nose Ring, Tattoos & Faith," the Counting On star opened up about a variety of personal decisions that she's made in recent years, including wearing pants, getting a nose ring, participating in therapy and being open to getting a tattoo.
As seen on TLC's 19 Kids and Counting, Jill, 29, is one of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's 19 children. The now-canceled series chronicled the lives of the conservative Arkansas parents, who enforced a modest dress code and specific rules for courtship for their children.
But since tying the knot in 2014, Jill and Derick have been open with fans about some of their surprising stances on topics considered taboo by her family, most recently the decision to drink alcohol.
More children and adoption
"Yes and it depends," said Derick, 31.
"Yes, like Derick said, we would love more kids if God chooses to give us more. And secondly, how many? I don't know. I don't know that we have a number. Probably not 20 kids," said Jill.
Adopting a child is also a possibility that is near and dear to her and Derick's hearts.
"But again, we're not going to rule anything out. If God has us run an orphanage or something, then maybe we'd have more than that! I don't know," said Jill. "So we'll see. Derick's mom was adopted, so adoption's always had like a place in our heart — a special place in our heart. But we'll see. We're not saying no, never or anything yet."
Nose piercing, hair cut and wearing pants
Second, Jill addressed her decision to get her nose pierced, her hair cut and to start wearing pants.
"I got my hair cut because my hair was so heavy and was giving me headaches. Literally, I was like, 'ahh' and it was so long," said Jill, who donated her hair.
As for her nose piercing, Jill said that she and Derick "talked about it" before she took the plunge.
"I kind of always thought they were cute, nose piercings," she said. "But I think that some of the decisions that we've made, like, I probably, even if I liked something before, maybe wouldn't have done it because of maybe some of the backlash that I would get or something from people close to me or something," said Jill, who admitted, "I hate confrontation, so maybe I would have avoided it."
"I think just growing as a person too and growing closer together as a couple is helpful. So when Derick told me he was cool with me getting my nose pierced whenever I was talking about it with him one day, I was like, 'Really, you like it?' He was like, 'Yeah, I think it's cool.' Then we decided that that was cool," she said.
Jill also explained that "because of the journey that we had already been on as a couple," she "was more comfortable with decisions that we make as a family — like basically having healthy boundaries and everything and being okay sometimes with other people not being okay is a hard thing. But as long as we knew that the decisions were not wrong, they could just be ones that other people might not make for themselves, then that's good for us. And also for us, our faith plays a huge part in it. Even some things I believe would be wrong across the board, but other things are more optional preference things."
Derick further noted that "not being closely associated with the show anymore kind of allowed that decision to happen more organically." (They have been appearing less frequently on the Duggar siblings' spinoff, Counting On.)
Jill agreed, explaining, "I knew I wasn't going to have to pick apart everything multiple times. ... Basically, we were able to make that decision for ourselves ... and know there was nothing wrong with it."
When it came to the decision to wear pants, Jill said that she and Derick "had talked about it. For me growing up, I always wore a skirt or a dress or whatever, but that was something that like as we were growing as a couple and kind of like, like the Bible says 'leave and cleave,' and kind of reevaluating things too, it definitely was not like a reactionary thing."
She added that the decision "was very much something that we were just reevaluating and for me, I felt like I could be modest and wear pants."
Jill said the first time she wore pants out of her house was "to an amusement park."
For their third question, the couple, who are Southern Baptists, addressed whether they'd ever get permanent ink on their bodies.
Without hesitation, Derick said that "the question isn't whether I would get a tattoo, it's what I would get. I mean, you never know, I might just get a big bald eagle on my face," he joked.
Explaining their stance, Jill said, "We're not against tattoos. I think what you get, you want to be wise. It's a permanent thing, which I think people most of the time consider. Location and what it is. If it's something meaningful to you, like maybe it's a good reminder and helps you get through something or whatever, I don't think that Biblically — which is how we want to make our decisions as Christians — I don't think that there's something wrong with it."
"Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, is what we believe, so we want to take good care of what God has given us. ... But I think it would be a decision for that person," said Jill, who assured: "We have nothing against them."
But would she ever get one?
"Personally, I mean, it would probably be really painful. I don't know. I've just heard they're painful. But I'm a very sentimental person, so I could see myself getting a tattoo except for that I hate needles. So the pain part of it, one little click of the nose piercing was like painful enough," said Jill. "So I don't know about the whole long, drawn out thing."
When it came to having the courage to make the changes she did, Jill revealed, "I think, like, therapy's been really helpful."
"But also, we haven't changed who we are as people. ... As Christians, we want to have the Bible to be our standard. But I think like just growing as people and the whole 'leave and cleave' thing, which I know we've talked about before, has been helpful," said Jill.
She has also come to a place of "being okay with other people not being okay, only to a certain degree. You don't just want to like not listen to anyone. But the people who are good role models to you, other fellow believers, people that are in your group, you want to listen to them, listen to their cautions, listen to that, get advice — wise advice."
Jill also explained that "you don't want to be overly fearful of other people too and be led by fear or a people-pleaser, which both of us kind of are there. So you have to grow as a person in that too, not just be a people-pleaser. But also learn the balance and show deference to people too. So I think it's about balance."
Derick added that they "feel like we have the freedom now to make more decisions that we might've otherwise before, but we're in a different place now where we actually can make those decisions. So like Jill was saying, we haven't changed as people. They're decisions we probably would have made before."
Jill added that with "more research, both sides, scripturally, like different things like that, I feel like maybe my views have changed a little bit. But as people, we still want to, as Christians, base everything on the Bible, so that part of us has not changed. But maybe our interpretations of some of it has."
No matter their decision, their "ultimate goal is still to glorify God in our actions, in everything that we do," said Jill, "and our decisions that we make."
When it comes to making their decisions, Jill realizes that members of her famous family might not agree with her actions — and she's okay with that.
"We don't feel like we're obligated to necessarily, that we have to discuss it with them prior to or after, but obviously sometimes those conversations come up," said Jill.
"And are they supportive? Not always. Everybody's going to have their opinion about different things. I feel like some of my siblings are probably more like have something to say about it than others. Some of them are more like, 'Hey, I'm happy for whatever y'all are deciding. I'm just glad that y'all are making decisions together as a couple.' ... Not all of them are cool with it, but some of them are more cool with it than others," she said.
Jill added: "But again, we don't want to just do things based on — you want to have deference, there's that part of it. But you also don't want to be controlled by what somebody else is going to think or not think. You want to be genuine too."
Said Derick, "We definitely want to get counsel from certain people. It's important."
Overall, the pair's "main thing is to not be legalistic about" their beliefs, but rather "to follow God as closely to the Bible ... to what it says and the interpretations that we feel like the Bible is telling us."
Recently speaking with PEOPLE, Jill discussed her decision to drink and how she and Derek have changed in more ways than one.
“I think we've grown a lot as a couple, and I’m okay with people not being okay with it," she said. "Sometimes it's a good thing. I'm very much a people pleaser, so not doing something because I was afraid of what other people would think. Or keeping my opinion quiet because I don't want to have to worry about conflict.”
Jill continued: “The journey that we've been on as a couple, we’re being better about having boundaries and our own family life.”