Jerry Seinfeld on marriage: "It's ten years of training and then you start to understand what you're doing"

By Mary Park
June 07, 2019 11:23 AM

Timing is everything according to Jerry Seinfeld.

The 65-year-old comedian explained that the length of a marriage is key, “It’s ten years of training and then you start to understand what you’re doing.”

The couple have been married for almost 20 years, and they share daughter Sascha, 18, and sons Julian Kal, 16, and Shepherd Kellen, 13.

Jerry, 65, and wife Jessica, 47, are set to celebrate their two decades of marriage in December. As the hosts of Jessica’s Good + Foundation 2019 Bash at Victorian Gardens in Central Park, they spoke to PEOPLE exclusively about their relationship.

Here’s what the happy pair said when we asked the secret to a good marriage:

Jerry: It doesn’t matter if anyone’s right.

Jessica: We’re all civilians first of all, and every relationship and certainly Hollywood marriages — when people are traveling — and he travels all the time, are challenging when you don’t spend time together and you don’t work on the relationship. He’s the most incredible communicator and so he’s better at this relationship than I am.

Jerry: Really?

Jessica: Absolutely. Emotional labor.

Jerry: I think a lot of couples now are traveling. Everyone’s traveling in every business. It’s not just entertainment.

Jessica: Also that we are not codependent. We both have a very strong work ethic and a huge passion for our work.

Jerry: I think the travel in the beginning was an adjustment for you. I think looking back it’s a healthy thing to have the breaks.

Jessica: That made me work harder. I think that made me want to really fill my time. We both want to raise normal children because we both grew up in middle class homes, and so we know that it’s really important for our kids to see us working really hard at work we love and so I think that adds a lot.

Cindy Ord/Getty

The Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee star also says he doesn’t need a special occasion to spend time with his wife. “Every night for us is date night. We just like to hang out and it’s not like a big deal for us to go to a restaurant. It’s just about being the same room for us. We love being in the same room.”

The Good + Foundation garden party raised nearly $600,000 for the national nonprofit that provides training and support to fathers and families living in poverty.

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