"People think that she buys and sells houses because she loves real estate — it's because she's on the run," the Morning Show star joked

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What happens when you put your hit daytime talk show in Jennifer Aniston‘s hands? Ellen DeGeneres just found out.

On Friday, the Morning Show star took over as host of the Ellen DeGeneres Show in DeGeneres’ absence, and she opened the show with a hilarious monologue-turned-roast of her good friend.

“I’m so happy to be here today guest-hosting,” she began. “I love Ellen, as you know, I will do anything for her, because we are real life friends.”

“You know, there’s Hollywood friends, and Hollywood friends, they kind of do that air-kiss thing. And then when you’re real friends, you do that,” she continued, matter-of-factly pointing to a photo of her and DeGeneres, 61, locking lips on the show last fall.

“Right? I mean, that’s what real friends do,” said Aniston, 50, as the audience cheered. “Or maybe just me.”

Jennifer Aniston and Ellen DeGeneres
Credit: Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.

Aniston decided that since she wasn’t there, it was the perfect time to “share some dirt” on DeGeneres.

“And I’m not talking just dirt — I’m telling you some deep, dark secrets,” Aniston promised. “Like, for example, people think that she buys and sells houses because she loves real estate — no, it’s not true. It’s because she’s on the run. From the law. You have no idea!”

“I’ve got more. Her real name? It’s not Ellen. It’s Sherry. Sherry Linguine,” she continued. “It’s true, you’ve just got to Google it. And there’s one more. She throws pennies away. She throws pennies right into the garbage in front of people. Good luck pennies!”

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And the hits kept coming, with Aniston joking that she “can’t even walk into [DeGeneres’] dressing room, because she’s burning one of those Gwyneth Paltrow candles,” a nod to the $75 votive cheekily named “This Smells Like My Vagina” available on Goop’s online store.

“Oh, and one more,” Aniston added. “She once voiced an animated adult film called Grinding Nemo. It’s hard to find, but you know how to find it.”

Ultimately, it was a jam-packed episode for the guest host, who also interviewed Will Ferrell and Selena Gomez. Oh, and since the show is taped at the famous Warner Bros. Studio lot in Burbank, California, where the actress spent a decade shooting Friends, Aniston also filmed a segment surprising unsuspecting superfans at the sitcom’s Central Perk set. All in a day’s work!

The Ellen DeGeneres Show airs weekdays (check local listings).