Jay Ellis Says He May Not Watch 'Insecure' Series Finale: 'I Think I'll Be a Wreck'

"There's this finality that I don't know that I'm personally really ready for," the actor told PEOPLE at the final season premiere party for the Emmy-winning HBO comedy

As Insecure heads to a close, one of the hit comedy's lead stars isn't sure he has it in him to watch the upcoming series finale.

Jay Ellis has played Lawrence on the Emmy-winning HBO series since its premiere in 2016, and ahead of Sunday's fifth and final season premiere, he told PEOPLE he may pass on screening the final episode to avoid closing that chapter of his life.

"I don't know, because I think I'll be a wreck," he said at the show's premiere event in Los Angeles on Thursday. "I want to watch it, obviously I know how it ends, but there's this finality that I don't know that I'm personally really ready for."

The Top Gun: Maverick star revealed he has a "weird thing" of avoiding the finales of all television shows he loves, and said Insecure may not be any different.

"I don't want to know how it ends," he said of skipping the last chapter of acclaimed programs like Breaking Bad. "I didn't want Walter White to die, for example, so I have this weird thing with that. I think that was very much this for me, although it was inevitable that I was going to find out how it ended."

Jay Ellis
Emma McIntyre/WireImage

Ellis admitted he doesn't consider himself a "closure person" and prefers his shows without an ending, even if it means living in a bit of denial. "I think I'm like, 'Nah, it's cool, it's going to come back and it's going to do its thing,'" he said.

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Hard as he may try, the actor mentioned that show creator and star Issa Rae will likely throw a finale party for the hardworking cast and crew, so avoidance may not be realistic possibility in this case.

"I'm sure Issa will throw a finale party and we'll all get together and we'll watch it," he said, adding that he'll still do his best to keep from seeing how it all plays out on screen. "I'll just try to turn my back to the TV as much as possible."

The Game alum also had a hard time getting through the final scripts, waiting until each episode's table read to discover how things turn out for characters Issa and Lawrence after the season 4 finale bombshell that he is expecting a baby with someone else. "Part of it is because I didn't want it to be over," he told PEOPLE.

Jay Ellis, Issa Rae
Merie W. Wallace/HBO

The bittersweet experience of making the final set of episodes started out fun before the finality of it all began to settle in for the cast.

"In the first couple of episodes, you're not thinking of the end, so we were all still having fun and laughing," Ellis recalled. "By the time we got to the end, I feel like everyone was just emotionally wrecked because we realized it was truly the end. There was nothing else to explore with these characters by the time we got to the end."

Rae previously explained that she and executive producer Prentice Penny agreed five seasons would be enough to tell a concise story about the show's characters navigating life in Los Angeles, and Ellis hopes it stays in the hearts of fans for years to come.

"I think of shows that are very much a time marker in my life and got me through something," he said. "I hope that people look back at our show in that same kind of way, like, 'Oh s---, this got me through my twenties, my thirties, this bad relationship, this great relationship, made me fall in love with somebody' — whatever it is, I hope it affects people in that way."

"I hope folks who feel like they haven't been seen and their stories haven't been told, I hope they feel that we did that," he added.

The final season of Insecure premieres Sunday on HBO.

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