Jay Cutler got down on one knee during a getaway in Cabo San Lucas in April 2011 after over a year of dating

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Jay Cutler wants a do-over when it comes to his proposal to Kristin Cavallari.

In a sneak peek at Thursday’s episode of Very Cavallari, the former NFL star recalled his beachside proposal to Cavallari nine years ago.

“I didn’t do it well,” he said. “If I could do it again, I’d do it again. It’s just nerve-wracking. You basically [black out],” he said. “It’s just like, get this ring out of my face, I can’t hold it anymore.”

Cutler, 36, got down on one knee during a getaway in Cabo San Lucas in April 2011 after over a year of dating. While he said he didn’t cry, Cavallari “shed some tears” during the romantic moment.

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But the actual proposal wasn’t the only anxiety-inducing moment from their relationship. Cutler said he also “blacked out” while asking Cavallari’s dad permission to marry her.

“Asking permission from Kristin’s dad, that is rough. He said yes and it was fine but just the build-up — I don’t remember that either,” he said. “I blacked out for that one.”

The couple split briefly in 2011 but reunited just weeks later. They later tied the knot in 2013 and are now parents to sons Camden, 7, and Jaxon, 5, and daughter Saylor, 4.

“The evolution of our relationship is amazing,” Cavallari previously told PEOPLE of their marriage. “I think part of it is that we’ve grown up a lot and learned how to express our needs.”

“I’ve always been open about the fact that our relationship takes work, but we’ve worked really hard,” she added. “And it’s just so nice to know that you have a teammate forever.”

Very Cavallari airs on Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on E!