Tony Soprano's Best 'Sopranos' One-Liners

See why the Mafia man's way with words made him one of the most memorable characters in TV history

HBO

"You know my feelings: Every day is a gift. It's just, does it have to be a pair of socks?"
– Following a near-death experience

HBO/Globe

"If you can quote the rules, then you can obey them."
– On following a made man's rules

HBO

"What line of work are you in?"
– Therapist Dr. Jennifer Melfi to Tony Soprano

"Waste management consultant."
– Tony Soprano

HBO/Globe

"What kind of person can I be, where his own mother wants him dead?"
– Venting to Dr. Melfi, about his own mother putting a hit out on him

HBO

"You don't sh-- where you eat. And you especially don't sh-- where I eat."
– To associate Benny, who was beat up by restaurateur pal Artie after stealing credit cards from Vesuvio's restaurant

HBO

"You chose this life. You don't want to work in the rain, try for the f---ing Yankees."
– To protégé Christopher Moltisanti

HBO/Everett

"Yeah. I find I have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside."
– To his therapist

HBO

"I'm like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns to s--t."
– On mafia life

HBO

"I don't care how close you are, in the end your friends are gonna let you down. Family: they're the only ones you can depend on."
– To his son, A.J. Soprano

HBO

"All due respect, you got no f---ing idea what it’s like to be Number One."
– Talking about being the boss