August 19, 2009 12:00 AM

In reality television the equation for success is simple: crazy = ratings. Outlandish behavior isn’t just par for the course in the BB house, for the most part, it’s encouraged, even nurtured, by the show’s bottom-line-minded producers. The unofficial motto for the show is “Expect the Unexpected.” It’s hard to imagine that, even after ten seasons, those same producers knew what they were getting into when they let Hurricane Chima walk through the doors. The 32-year-old’s message to producers and viewers was a loud, clear and certainly not civil: “Go f— yourself!”

The first half of Tuesday’s show was essentially a montage of Chima’s boorish, bratty behavior (other “B” words do pop to mind). The disgruntled and thoroughly disagreeable freelance journalist displayed an acumen for four-letter wordplay that is not going to land her any future gigs on CNN or MSNBC. It was a truly cringe-worthy display, culminating with the infamous microphone toss into the pool. The only possible benefit? Parents can now tell their children, “If you don’t eat your vegetables, Chima is going to pay you a visit.”

Chima’s contemptabile run in the house ended in the diary room, where a waiting producer uttered the best line of the night. “No need to sit down,” she said, showing the diva a side exit door. “You’re going to go out this way.”

Oh, and it turns out that even with “patient zero” evicted, crazy is still contagious. Kevin, who, on Sunday had mocked Jessie‘s girls for their weeping, walked around the house — weeping, and repeating the mantra, “This is stupid!” Natalie swore “vindiction,” and though we know she meant “vindication,” don’t you really want her to find that other thing as well?

And Lydia, our tattooed lady, are you really trying to get bounced from the house so that you can have a reunion with Jessie?

While Jordan won the latest HOH competition (which was ultimately handed to her by Jeff, who threw the final round), Lydia won a week in clingy red, as “Captain Unitard.” She then decided if she wasn’t going to be boss, she was going to hit the sauce. What followed would have made Chima proud. Lydia, slurring throughout, referred to Jordan as a garden tool and Jeff’s “puppet,” trashed the opposing alliance’s food, begged to be evicted, and challenged Michele to a fight to determine who was, “a bigger woman!”

In the end, “Captain Inebri-tard” and Natalie where put up once again on the eviction block, and though Jordan has set a newly focused laser-bam gaze on evicting the dangerous Natalie, it’s difficult to disregard the following exchange between Lydia and Jeff:

Lydia (yelling): I’m going to yell all week until you guys evict me! Jeff: Great, you’re evicted. Now be quiet.

Amen. –Reagan Alexander

Tell us: What did you think of the antics this week on Big Brother?Sonja Flemming/CBS

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