"He was hoping I would change my mind," Madison said of her decision to leave the Playboy Mansion

By Aurelie Corinthios
Updated September 28, 2015 02:10 PM

Holly Madison wasn’t impressed with her ex Hugh Hefner‘s decision to write her into his will.

The Playboy scion’s former live-in girlfriend talked about her decision to leave the Playboy Mansion during an interview with Oprah Winfrey on Saturday’s episode of Oprah: Where Are They Now? – and Madison, now 35, claims Hefner tried to convince her to stay by offering her money.

“Hef and I started hitting a rocky patch when it became clear that Bridget [Marquardt] and Kendra [Wilkinson] were leaving, they were moving onto new things,” Madison said. “I just had enough, and just had realized all the delusions I’d been under and that this was no longer the life for me.”

Madison said her decision to leave “came to a bizarre peak” when she went into Hefner’s room to gather her belongings.

“I found on my side of the bed a folder that he left out, and in his will he left me $3 million,” Madison explained. “It was very clear that he left that out for me to see because he was hoping I would change my mind and get me to stay, but it just kind of disgusted me more than anything because all he can do was say, ‘Oh, here, I’m going to throw you some money to get you to stay.’ It just grossed me out.”

Madison hasn’t held back when it comes to discussing details of her relationship with Hefner, 89. In June, she published a tell-all memoir titled Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny that reveals she considered suicide while living in the Mansion.

She has since faced backlash from Hefner, who said Madison chose "to rewrite history," as well as from Hefner’s son Cooper and former Playboy Mansion housemate Kendra Wilkinson, who has fiercely defended Hefner and recently said Madison isn’t "living on Earth."

During the interview with Winfrey, Madison also talked about drug use at the infamous manor.

“Everything at the Mansion looked very glamorous and it looked like something that I wanted as well,” Madison recalled. “The first night I went out with Hef and the girls I got really drunk. He offered me prescription drugs, which I didn’t take, but he offers Quaaludes to all the girls that would come out with him.”

Madison also said that once upstairs, “there’d be kind of this orgy that was going on,” which turned out to be “traumatic” for her.

In June, Madison talked to PEOPLE Now about the backlash she has faced from Hefner’s camp.

“I’m definitely not rewriting history,” Madison said. “Everything in the book is 100 percent true. I just think it’s not the version of the story he would like to tell.”