"Peter told me he'd quit the show ... if I wanted to be with him," she tells PEOPLE of the former Bachelor

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When Hannah Brown said goodbye to second runner-up Peter Weber on her season of The Bachelorette in 2019, it wasn't an easy decision.

"I was so upset breaking up with him," Brown, 27, tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "I know he really did care about me and he's such a great guy. I was really confused."

Brown, who details her life and Bachelor franchise journey in her new book God Bless This Mess, ended up with Jed Wyatt, her final pick, though they split before the finale aired.

THE BACHELORETTE - "1503" - Eight men get the surprise of their life as husband and wife actors Jason Biggs ("American Pie" movies, "Orange Is the New Black") and Jenny Mollen (TV series "Angel" and "Crash") take them to a birthing class with hilarious results. Which one of Hannah's suitors will endure the experience of simulating childbirth? The Bachelorette gets a real-life health scare and one bachelor comes to her rescue. In return, she rewards him with a private concert by Danish pop and soul band Lukas Graham, performing their hit, "Love Someone." Hannah brings another group of men on a professional photo shoot where they are shocked to find that they are posing with professional models-who are adorable animals. The curious Bachelorette once again employs Demi to share with her what the men do when she is not around, reminiscent of the new Illumination Entertainment film from the creators of "Despicable Me," "The Secret Life of Pets 2." Will the guys pass Demi's test? And later, will one man spin out of control and out of Hannah's life? The men battle to get a rose, whatever it takes, on "The Bachelorette," MONDAY, MAY 27 (8:00-10:01 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network. (ABC/John Fleenor) PETER, HANNAH BROWN
Peter Weber and Hannah Brown
| Credit: John Fleenor/ABC

Weber and Brown had a strong connection on her season, most notably for getting intimate during one of their dates; she later spoke out about it during a heated conversation with contestant Luke Parker.

"I never thought it'd be shown," Brown recalls. "It was very hard watching that for me, because I felt like I'd let down my faith. I am grateful I had the opportunity to be a voice for other women, but I don't know if I was ready for it."

For more from Hannah Brown, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribe here.

hannah brown book

Regardless, by the fall of 2019, Weber, 30, had been announced as the next Bachelor. "Once I knew that, it helped shield my feelings for him," says Brown. "I still didn't know if I could get there with him."

Nonetheless, Brown ultimately made an appearance on Weber's season and the pair had an emotional interaction.

"Going back and seeing him as the Bachelor, it brought up a lot," she says. Off camera, "Peter told me he'd quit the show, 100 percent, if I could say that I wanted to be with him. I wanted to go on a date with him, but I couldn't say that I knew for sure."

HANNAH BROWN, PETER WEBER
Credit: John Fleenor/ABC

Brown left and Weber ended up engaged to his pick Hannah Ann Sluss. His season began airing in January 2020, but soon, "I heard that they were having troubles," Brown says.

At a February engagement party for Dylan Barbour and Hannah Godwin, Brown and Weber began talking, and then surreptitiously left the party together.

"He was like, 'I have so much to tell you,'" Brown recalls, writing in her book that the former couple ended up in bed together. "The chemistry just wasn't there," she says. "It just sucked. And then, I found out he had another girl [runner-up Madison Prewett] on his mind. It was all so bizarre."

Hannah Brown Author Photo
Hannah Brown
| Credit: Lauren Alexandra

Weber ended his engagement with Sluss to explore a relationship with Prewett, though they didn't end up back together. Meanwhile, Weber and Brown — who has been dating Adam Woolard for a year — haven't spoken since.

"Things might not have turned out the way I expected, but I try to learn from every moment," she says. "I don't wish ill on anybody. And I'm in a really good place."

God Bless This Mess: Learning to Live and Love Through Life's Best (and Worst) Moments hits bookshelves on Tuesday.