Mistakes are necessary, mullets aren't forever, never go to the gym and more life lessons we learned from the '90s sitcom

By Maria Yagoda
April 23, 2015 07:00 AM
ABC Photo Archives/Getty

Now that the Full House reboot is officially, really, definitely happening – John Stamos announced the joyous news earlier this week – we are officially, really, definitely getting excited about welcoming the Tanner family back into our homes. Whichever actors end up signing on to the project (negations are still ongoing with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Bob Saget, Dave Coulier and Lori Loughlin), we know the spin-off will bring a whole new wave of laughs, wisdom nuggets and we’re-not-crying-I-got-hot-sauce-in-my-eyes moments.

As we eagerly anticipate the new season, we take a look back at 11 of the most crucial lessons the gang taught us about life, fashion, family and having it all.

1. The higher the ponytail, the better the everything.

Michelle Tanner’s all-around awesomeness is directly proportional to the height of her ponytail.

2. You think you’re sneaky? You’re not.

Your family will always find you out – whether you’re licking the middle of Oreos and putting them back in the cookie jar or trying out cigarettes to up your junior-high cool factor. And don’t even think about kissing your secret boyfriend on the porch in broad daylight. (Seriously, D.J.?)

3. Mistakes are a natural part of life, so don’t waste time being embarrassed.

Even super cool Uncle Jesse looks super uncool on the ice skating rink, despite his voluminous head of hair and very era-appropriate high-waisted blue jeans. Over and over, Full House teaches us to welcome mistakes as opportunities to learn, grow and perhaps take ice-skating lessons.

4. Working out is hard.

Maybe just avoid?

5. Don’t be scared to break the rules every once in a while.

But always wear a helmet while doing so because some broken rules aren’t worth a broken head.

6. Gender binaries are for the birds.

Classic Danny wisdom.

7. Know when to make an exit.

Kimmy Gibbler has it right – shut it down when the things get a little too real.

8. If you don’t have good comebacks, you’ll never make it.

As evidenced by Time No. 4905223 that Aunt Becky completely owned Uncle Jesse, the rule is simple – diss or be dissed. (Raise your hand if you didn’t pick up on the, ahem, not-so-innocent undertones when you watched this the first time around.)

9. When in doubt – dance the pain away.

10. You can’t protect your mullet forever.

Uncle Jesse made two grave errors. First mistake: Getting a mullet. Second mistake: Letting a young child “play cut” his hair with real scissors.

11. Family is forever.

Feelings!

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