Entertainment TV Colton Underwood Addresses Past Drama with Ex Cassie Randolph in First 'Coming Out Colton' Trailer Coming Out Colton premieres Friday on Netflix By Dory Jackson Dory Jackson Instagram Twitter Website Dory Jackson is an Associate Editor for PEOPLE's digital TV team. While at the brand, she's had the opportunity to interview a long list of celebrities, from Kate Hudson to Pierce Brosnan to Billy Porter. She also recaps popular TV shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules.The New York-based Maryland native graduated from Randolph-Macon College in May 2016 with a focus in Communication Studies and Journalism. She came to PEOPLE in March 2021 after working at a number of major news companies, including Newsweek and Us Weekly. She also previously co-hosted a podcast called "Idol Nation." People Editorial Guidelines Published on November 29, 2021 08:47 AM Share Tweet Pin Email Viewers will get to know Colton Underwood on a deeper level than ever in his upcoming Netflix series Coming Out Colton. Colton, 29, first gained recognition as a contestant on Becca Kufrin's season of The Bachelorette in 2018. After appearing on Bachelor in Paradise, the former NFL player stepped further into the spotlight as the season 23 lead of The Bachelor, dating 30 women at once while looking for love. In April, he came out as gay during a sit-down interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. Now, in the first Coming Out Colton trailer, released Monday, Colton addresses his previous struggles with confronting his sexuality. "I didn't want to be gay," he says. "And the main voices in my head were just telling me, 'You'll get through this, you'll get through this, you'll get through this.' " Colton Underwood Shares Special Meaning Behind Image for Netflix Series Coming Out Colton "The reason I'm coming out is because I'm ashamed and I'm sort of mortified of what got me to this position in the first place," he adds. Colton ended his Bachelor season in 2019 in a relationship with Cassie Randolph, though they announced their split in May 2020. Cassie, 26, then filed a restraining order against him that September for allegedly harassing her, but dropped it nearly two months later. Cassie Randolph, Colton Underwood. Amy Sussman/E! Entertainment/NBCU Photo Bank; JC Olivera/WireImage "I never thought I was going to come out, I thought I was going to die with this secret," the former Bachelor tells Olympic skier Gus Kenworthy in the trailer. The clip continues to address the controversy head-on as Colton recalls putting "a poor girl through [a] hell of my own insecurities." But his own father, Scott Underwood, calls out his past behavior: "Cassie filed a restraining order against you. You went off the rails." Colton then tells his mother, Donna Underwood, he was "starting to hurt other people outside of just myself." And at one point, a friend also tells Colton: "What you put her through was bulls---." Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. "You want to sit down and apologize to make yourself feel better," a church official tells Colton. "The best thing you can do is face up to what you've done and find out who the hell you are." The clip concludes in a place of optimism. Getting emotional, Colton says he feels "the best I've ever felt" since sharing his truth. Netflix "Everybody's coming out stories are different," he adds. "And I'm grateful to be able to add my story to the conversation." Coming Out Colton hits Netflix on Friday.