Hollywood's Emmy-nominated comedians reveal how the world would be different if they were in charge

By Dana Rose Falcone
August 09, 2017 10:00 AM

It’s nearly unanimous. Hollywood’s 2017 Emmy-nominated comedians almost all agree on the one person they’d kick off the planet if they were in charge, and it probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise.

“I would kick Donald Trump and everyone associated with him off the world, off the planet, out of the galaxy, and as far away as possible,” Billy Eichner, up for outstanding variety sketch series for Billy on the Street, tells PEOPLE in this week’s Emmy portfolio saluting the funniest people in late night. “And I know a lot of people agree with me, except for like 17 lunatics who need to learn how to read a history book. Anyway, I hate them all.”

For Sarah Silverman, she’d remove “gum snappers and Donald Trump.”

Leslie Jones, who also has President Trump at the top of her list for relocation, raised a concern about removing the commander in chief, 71, from earth. “Do we really want him in space?” the outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series nominee, 49, asks.

James Corden, in the running for outstanding variety talk series, took a less harsh approach.

“If I ruled the world, I would kick no one off of it,” he says. “But I would maybe send them into a room to think about what they’d done.”

The funny people also have some suggestions for how to improve life for their hypothetical constituents.

“I would try to make sure everyone had a place to live on islands that aren’t sinking into the ocean and such,” outstanding variety talk series contender Samantha Bee, 47, says. “I would make sure everybody had food and I would take care of people’s very basic needs.”

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The Late Late Show host, 38, would also want to give people a solid foundation, too. “I would make sure everybody had clean water and an education,” Corden declares.

Silverman, recognized in the outstanding variety special category, echoed their sentiments. “I would make sure everyone had food and healthcare,” the 46-year-old says, “which we can afford.”

For outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series nominee Vanessa Bayer, her suggestion isn’t quite a necessity. “I would make sure everyone had Netflix,” the Saturday Night Live alum, 35, adds. “Because they have like a lot of programming and movies.”

The 70th annual Primetime Emmy Awards are airing life from Los Angeles Sept. 17 on CBS.