Ellen Page, who is now in her first public relationship since coming out, says there was a time in her life that she hid her romantic partners from the media

By Jodi Guglielmi
Updated September 30, 2015 11:30 AM
Credit: Mike Coppola/Getty

Ellen Page finally feels free.

Page got candid while talking about how relieved she feels to finally be living life as her true self since coming out as gay on Valentines Day last year. The Freeheld actress choked up while talking about her journey to come out during an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Tuesday night.

“I feel so grateful for it. I feel so grateful to feel how I feel now, compared to how I felt when I was a closeted person. It’s not a nice place to be. I was sad,” said Page, 28. “[Staying in the closet] is toxic, and I wish that no one had to live that way.”

She continued: “I’m a very privileged gay person, and those who are affected the most in our community are the most vulnerable. And I feel very grateful to be able to talk about things or share stories and meet incredibly inspiring people and have connections with people.”

Page is currently in her first public relationship since coming out, and has been actively posting loving photos on Instagram with girlfriend Samantha Thomas.

She made her red carpet debut with Thomas at the Toronto International Film Festival, where she gushed about her blossoming relationship.

“I’m in love,” the actress said at the TIFF Freeheld premiere. “Walking down the red carpet holding my girlfriend’s hand is pretty special. It’s pretty awesome.”

Though Page seems perfectly comfortable walking arm in arm with Thomas, she admits that there were times in her life that she wasn’t secure enough with herself to be honest in relationships.

“I’m embarrassed to say how closeted I was,” Page told Buzzfeed. “I get sad thinking about it, honestly, because it was painful. And painful for people I was in relationships with. Just all-around destructive.”

Page said she would hide women she was dating, making them go through different entrances or hide in the bathroom when people would come in a room.

“I feel bad about it. And I did start feeling really guilty about it. And I think that I should feel guilty about it.”

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Now, as Page promotes her upcoming film Freeheld, a true story about a lesbian couple fighting for equal rights that inspired her to come out, she says she finally feels as though she has found peace with herself and in her life.

“Because I’m out, living my life, I feel like I’m a more confident person in general,” she said. “I have more of a vision, but the vision is really just producing, telling stories I want to tell, and living the life I want to live.”