Ellen DeGeneres Hilariously Explains How Two Glasses of Wine Landed Her in the Hospital
The comedian dislocated her finger over the weekend
Leave it to Ellen DeGeneres to turn a dislocated finger into a hilarious story.
Before welcoming her guest Claire Danes on Wednesday’s episode of her talk show, DeGeneres had a quick announcement to make — and that involved explaining exactly how two glasses of wine landed her in the emergency room.
“I have something to show you — it’s that right here,” said the host, pointing at her splint. “Can you see it? I broke my finger. I know what you’re thinking: ‘How can you host a show without the tip of your ring finger?!’ I’m not going to let this thing beat me. I am not!”
“I’ll tell you what happened,” she continued. “So you know how in gymnastics when you do a one-handed cartwheel and you have to spread the weight evenly between all your fingers? Well, I had two glasses of wine and fell into a door.”
As it turns out, the comedian and her wife Portia de Rossi were coming home from a dinner party and were almost at their front door when DeGeneres tripped on the top step.
“I was like a foot away from the door, and I fell into the door,” she recalled. “It did something to my finger — I knew something was wrong.”
“My first thought was: ‘No big deal, Obamacare will cover this,’ ” she quipped. “So, Portia drove me to the hospital, to the emergency room. When I got there, of course the receptionist had so many things for me to sign — a picture for her nephew, a t-shirt for her … No, they were wonderful. UCLA, thank you so much. There were a lot of people that were helpful, but Tammy, thank you so much. Tammy was my nurse that was taking care of me. They did an x-ray of my finger and here’s what it looked like.”
“But anyways, turns out I didn’t break it: I dislocated my finger,” she continued. “That’s what they call it, which is an incorrect term because I knew where it was located. It was just wrongly located is what it was.”
“Do you know what they do when you dislocate your finger?” she asked. “It’s very technical. What they do is they take the part that’s dislocated and then they just snap it right back into place. You can see why they have to go to eight years of medical school.”
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DeGeneres said before it was snapped back into place, she was “in incredible pain” so her nurse Tammy asked if she wanted a shot.
“I said: ‘No, I had two glasses of wine — that’s what got me into this mess in the first place, Tammy,’ ” joked DeGeneres. “She meant a shot to numb my finger.”
“She said: ‘You’re going to feel a little prick, and then some burning,’ ” continued the host. “There was burning alright. Burning followed by cursing is what happened. Just think of any curse word and I said that. I invented three new ones, actually.”
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“So it was a hard weekend for me, but I put on a brave face and I made it through,” she went on. “I’m going to watch my steps very carefully as I dance.”
The Ellen DeGeneres Show airs weekdays (check local listings).