After last week’s revealing and dramatic episode, a steamy, sex-filled installment of Desperate Housewives (with some awesome guest stars and a few details dropped in to further the Dave Williams plotline) was just what fans needed. Katherine got some, Carlos accidentally gave some, Susan interrupted some and somebody got his first some which inadvertently endangered his parents’ future prospects of making some, at least together anyway. … Carrie Bell
Bree Orson started his new job with Bree’s catering company and instantly started encroaching on Katherine’s territory, booking big dinner parties, marinating scallops and putting mini cobblers in their individual ramekins. Bree found her scrubbing the fridge after she gave her the afternoon off and confronted her about it. Katherine dropped an f bomb – she was thinking about moving to Maryland to live near her daughter (who is now married and with child) because all she had in Fairview was a job. “No kids, no husband, no boyfriend. I haven’t had sex in two years. I might as well throw in the towel and be a grandma.” When Orson’s single friend (supposedly his college roommate) came in to plan a family reunion, Bree decided to set Katherine up (something seemed off, but Bree didn’t notice as she was too busy scheming) and arranged for her to cook a sample menu for him. When she filled Orson in on her matchmaking, he admitted that he had met the guy in prison (for selling organs from his deceased patients on the black market) not college. She shrieked, “Are you telling me I set Katherine up with a convicted grave robber?” He reasoned, “You said yourself that women over 40 can only be so choosy.” She called Katherine to warn her, but she had already slept with him and thanked Bree profusely. “You have given me the most magical night I’ve had since I don’t know when. He’s just so wonderful. If I’m not careful, this guy could steal my heart.” Bree replied sarcastically, “If he tries, just promise you’ll call.”
She broke the bad news to Katherine the next morning. “When we started this, you were just as lonely as I was. It was nice to have somebody in the same boat,” Katherine said. “Orson got out and now I feel like you are this fun, happy, power couple and I’m this needy, pathetic idiot who hops into bed with the first pancreas thief who kisses me.” Bree changed her mind by telling her that she is like the sister she never had. On her way home, Katherine ran into Mike, who had been on a bad date, and the two decided to go inside for some lemonade. Not sure how far they’d take this pairing, but can’t wait to find out. Maybe Dana Delany will finally get the screen time she deserves again. But we do feel the need to point out one flaw in this logic – she didn’t want to see the blind date guy again because he was a felon but Mike has been to jail and killed a man too.
Edie She went to the hospital to visit Mrs. McCluskey, who claimed she attacked Dave because of new medication that made her loopy, asked Edie to leave shortly after arriving and told her that she planned to stay with her sister for awhile. She immediately dialed her sister to tell her she needed her big time. She woke up to a cloud of smoke and Lily Tomlin at the business end of a cigarette. She offered to clean Dave’s clock but Mrs. McC warned her, “This one is dangerous.” Her sister cracked back as she added liquor to her coffee, “That’s what you said about that biker in Florida who now has to puree all his food.” Mrs. McC sighed, “That was a fun vacation,” before instructing her sis to pull his phone records (She works for his cell company.) and smuggle in a cold beer.
Edie came home to Dave working on a logo for the band’s T-shirts. When she asked about the name Blue Odyssey, he let it slip that it was the name of his brother’s band in high school and that he was dead. “His name was Steve. He got caught up in drugs and couldn’t get out. He went to prison and while he was there, he was killed by another inmate. The court ruled it was self-defense so the guy finished his time and got out.” When Edie suggested that he talk about those kinds of thing with her to help him manage, he remarked. “I have my own way of dealing.” Cue the ominous music. When Mrs. McC arrived at her sister’s house, Tomlin informed her that she got the records and Dave was indeed keeping a secret. The cliffhanger close, usually annoying, is thrilling as this means Tomlin has to be back on Wisteria Lane next week.
Gabrielle Carlos accidentally gave one of his clients at the country club an orgasm with his healing hands and it earned him a $300 tip, but he failed to tell Gaby why the client (Nice to see Six Feet Under’s Frances Conroy on TV again) was so generous. The woman drove Carlos home after her next appointment and dropped to Gab that she because she was pain free for the first time in years, she wanted to take Carlos to Europe with her for two months to the tune of $100,000. Seeing dollar signs, Gab was all for it.
She went to sweet talk Carlos’s boss into giving him the time off and found one of his co-workers instead. When she started bragging about the socialite’s offer, the guy assumed Carlos had told Gab about the massage orgasms and congratulated her on being so “broadminded.” She kicked into feisty Latina mode, got the woman’s address (as Carlos has now been making house calls) and snuck into the session. Conroy resorted to flattery (“I should be flattered that someone as young and beautiful as you should see me as a threat”) and bribery (asking Gab to attend the couture shows as her personal shopper to be paid in dresses) to placate Gaby. Of course, it worked.
Lynette While driving in to work, she saw Tom talking to a mysterious woman in peep-toes and a slinky skirt (Gail O’Grady). Never one to pull punches, she pulled over and confronted them. Turns out she was a realtor and the mother of one of her kid’s friends who had found a rehearsal space for Tom’s garage band. Just glad that Tom wasn’t cheating she agreed to the lease. But Lynette had a change of heart after one of the gay neighbors made her paranoid about Tom possibly straying.
At garage band practice, Dave hung back to talk to Mike about bumping up the number of rehearsals to work out the kinks. Despite jamming being “the highlight of his week,” Mike said he was too busy. When he asked Dave why he was putting so much energy into a “neighborhood band” Dave backed off. Looks like Mike may very well be the target of his evil plan as just about everyone has been predicting since week one.
Lynette went over to confront Tom and accused him of “moving out to have an affair, the final stage of your mid-life crisis.” Tom got all sweet and earnest and for a moment fans saw the Tom they know and love. “I thought you were just complaining to complain, but if it’s affecting you like this, if it’s making you think that I would hurt you in that way, I’m done with all of this.” But while he was hugging her, he noticed an open condom wrapper on the floor, covered it with his foot and told her to go home while he locked up. He later made a lame excuse to flee the house and the screen flashed to the realtor wrapped in the sheets of the futon saying, “I’m glad you could get away.”
The outrage in homes across America was quickly squelched when the camera pulled back to reveal Porter as the paramour to this Mrs. Robinson. Tom barged in, yelled at him for using his space for lusty purposes, and told his son to get her out while he hid in the bathroom. Tom never saw his date, but Lynette, who had followed Tom, got the wrong idea as she watched the realtor flee the warehouse. Tom brought Porter home and reiterated that he didn’t think he was emotionally responsible enough for having sex, but inside Lynette was in a huff packing her bags upstairs.
Susan She went over to Jackson’s apartment in hopes of making up. The door was ajar and the shower was running. In a classic Susan move, she stripped and flung open the shower curtain to surprise him, but instead found a woman who screamed and squeezed shampoo in Susan’s eyes. Susan freaked and ended up knocking the mystery woman out. When she awoke, Susan interrogated her and found out Jackson met Darcy at a club before he returned home with pizza. Susan said she came to talk about their future before she found “five feet of lip gloss in the shower.”
Jackson showed up on her doorstep begging to talk. “You have no right to be mad at me,” he pleaded. “I try to commit to you and you push me away. I move on and I’m a shallow jerk.” She tried to explain her actions, “I’ve been married twice and both times that imploded so really I don’t feel like love is not my friend. I wish I could say it was rotten luck. We really messed this up. We have so much baggage. I wish we could start over?” –Carrie Bell
Tell us: Which guest star (Conroy, O’Grady or Tomlin) are you most excited to see again next week? What do you think about a possible Katherine/Mike hookup and were you happy that Jackson and Susan are gonna give it another shot?