The shock jock appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman Monday and tried to plant a kiss on his old friend – but the crusty Indiana native was having none of it.
“Is this goodbye? Is this our final time together?” Stern, 61, said as he stood up and inched closer to Letterman, 68, who did his best to slink away.
In a gesture of compromise, Letterman, who ends his late-night run next week, planted a kiss on Stern’s hand, but that did little to placate the Sirius radio-show host.
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“Kiss me!” Stern demanded as Letterman returned for what he thought would be a gentlemantly(ish) hug.
“No!” screamed Letterman, as Stern awkwardly embraced him as he tried to squirm away.
As the band broke into a swoon-worthy ditty, Letterman did the only thing he could think of to get out of the uncomfortable situation: He called for a commercial.
However, Stern couldn’t help but ask another uncomfortable question: Would former late night rival Jay Leno appear as the final guest on his show?
For that question, Letterman deferred to his producers, who indicated the already retired host declined an offer to appear.
“Jay asked me to be on when he was finishing his show, and I said, ‘That’s a lovely offer, but I think it really should really be just about Jay on his final week of shows’ so I declined. I think he may feel the same way about this situation.”
Letterman has no shortage of high-profile guests bidding him adieu this month. Tina Fey and President Barack Obama have already said their on-air goodbyes, and guests later this week include former President Bill Clinton, Julia Roberts, George Clooney and Oprah Winfrey.