The DWTS pro opens up about her broken engagements and how she won't give up on love

By Lynette Rice
Updated April 29, 2015 12:05 PM
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Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

Karina Smirnoff has always had her eye on the prize – a husband and a child, maybe even two. But focusing too much on what she could someday gain has diverted attention from what she could lose – the ability to identify who is truly marriage material.

“I think we can all solidly agree, without a doubt, that [it hasn’t been a] good life with men,” said the 37-year-old Dancing with the Stars pro, who recently broke things off with her third fiancé, Jason Adelman.

“It’s not that I choose the wrong men. That has nothing to do with it. I’m at the place in my life that I want to be a mom more than anything and I want to be a wife. I want to live for another human being and give that little guy or girl everything I have. But sometimes the desire becomes bigger than living in the moment and realizing what is happening, learning from my mistakes and seeing the red flags.”

Smirnoff, who was previously engaged to fellow DWTS pro Maksim Chermkovskiy and MLB pitcher Brad Penny, said her recent breakup with Adelman was so painful that she realized it was time to make a change.

“I’m in therapy now,” she told PEOPLE. “I’ve gotten to the point where it’s not embarrassing. I need therapy. I need to fix myself. I need to figure out what I do to get myself in these situations because I don’t think I can have another heartbreak. I can’t go through it again and stay sane and stay normal.”

For more from Smirnoff, who recently penned the dating book

We’re Just Not That into You, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday