FIRST GROUP DATE
The first group date of the season goes to Clay, Nick, Chris R., David, Jean-Blanc, Jordan, Connor and Lincoln. Becca tricks them into thinking they’re in for a day of pampering when she surprises them with custom suits and champagne, but the real activity ends up being a marriage-themed obstacle course hosted by last season’s Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay and her fiancé Bryan Abasolo.
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The best part of the entire date is when Becca turns to walking Zoolander parody Jordan and asks, “Wait, are you a model?” It’s only his sole purpose of existence, and the fact that she was completely unaware of this fact is simply glorious.
Lincoln ends up winning the obstacle course (though there’s some debate over whether or not he cheated), and Becca gifts him with a framed photo of the two at the finish line. Little did she know, she would sorely regret this.
Lincoln, who is already starting to get on everyone’s nerves, insists on propping the photo up on the table in front of the rest of the guys during the date. He also repeatedly interacts with it, even kissing it, which is about a clear a red flag as they come.
Finally, Connor gets sick of fighting with Lincoln over the picture and tosses it in the pool in a fit of rage. Lincoln takes the utmost offense to this — “Throwing a picture is classist,” he argues — and immediately runs off to find Becca to tell her what just happened.
“I feel threatened, physically,” he whines. Becca exhibits remarkable self-restraint by not rolling her eyes into the back of head while having to mediate between two grown men fighting over a stupid picture.
She eventually gives the group date rose to Jean-Blanc. The next morning, Lincoln ends up crying — yes, actual tears — over the picture. In the immortal words of Kourtney Kardashian: There’s people that are dying, Lincoln.
ONE-ON-ONE WITH BLAKE
This is Becca’s first one-on-one date since Arie Luyendyk Jr. dumped her for his runner-up Lauren Burnham, so of course it has to be all about Arie. The lucky guy? Blake, who joins Becca at a warehouse full of Arie-themed memorabilia that they savagely destroy to the sweet lullaby of Lil Jon‘s “Turn Down for What.”
Later that night, they sit down for dinner and Blake opens up about his previous relationship, revealing he found out his last girlfriend was about to dump him when he saw some texts from her friend pop up on her phone. Rough, but not quite getting-dumped-on-national-television-rough, Blakie.
RELATED VIDEO: The Bachelorette‘s Becca Kufrin on How She Forgave Arie Luyendyk Jr.
But Becca is definitely taking a liking to Blake, and she happily offers him the one-on-one rose.
“Since night one, I have felt such comfort and a sense of ease with you,” she says. “I feel like we’re on the same page with what we’re looking for in life and it just restores so much hope.”
SECOND GROUP DATE
The next day, Garrett, Rickey, John, Ryan, Alex, Christon, Trent, Leo, Wills and Colton set out for the second group date of the week, where we learn that Colton can’t pronounce the word “ecstatic.”
The men face off in a game of indoor trampoline dodgeball. Special shout out to Leo, the LeBron James of the pink team.
That evening, Colton decides the time has come for him to make his big confession. (And no — it’s not that he’s a virgin. That one’s coming later.) Turns out that in January, he had a short-lived relationship with Tia Booth, who competed on The Bachelor alongside Becca. (Fun fact: Colton also dated Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman.)
RELATED VIDEO: Aly Raisman’s Ex-Boyfriend Is Competing for Becca Kufrin’s Heart on The Bachelorette
“We had a weekend together and we had a good time, but for me the timing wasn’t right to grow what was a spark into a flame,” he tells Becca. “If my feelings were strong enough, I wouldn’t have came on [the show]. I think that from what I know of you, we could build something awesome. We could have the time. Whereas it wasn’t there, moving forward, with her.”
Becca, however, isn’t quite sure how to take the news — especially considering the fact that she and Tia are actually good friends.
“I’m not going to lie — I don’t know how I feel about it,” she says. “It makes me feel a little bit sick. I’m very attracted to you, I really like where our conversation was on night one and I feel like we had a lot in common, but it’s a very tricky situation. It puts me in a very strange position. It’s just a lot to take in right now.”
Frustrated and confused over Colton’s reveal, she decides to give the group date rose to Wills.
COCKTAIL PARTY/ROSE CEREMONY
By the second cocktail party of the season, the guys are giving it their all and Becca is making out left and right. Who’s the kissing bandit now, Arie?
The highlight of the evening is Jordan, who proclaims he wants Becca to fall for his “personality” before immediately stripping down to his briefs.
“I don’t want you to misinterpret me as some guy who’s like, 007 all the time, because I’m not,” he insists. Jordan, absolutely no one was confusing you for James Bond. Not now, not ever.
Naturally, Jordan’s decision to interrupt David’s time with Becca whilst almost completely naked doesn’t go over well with David and they have at it in the living room. (And yes, a war of words between two men is all the more entertaining when one is draped in a giant pink blanket.)
But all the while, Becca remains preoccupied over the Colton situation and admits she still hasn’t made up her mind.
“I feel like I see something in you that I’m very attracted to, and there’s that interest there,” she tells him. “But until I have more clarity, I don’t even want to really invest in this relationship. So if you sense that I am holding back with you, I am.”
Ultimately, however, she decides to keep Colton around — at least for another week. You know, just enough time to surprise him by bringing Tia onto the show. We love a good ambush this time of year!
The Bachelorette airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.