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August 03, 2016 12:50 PM

Chad Johnson may have been eliminated early from The Bachelorette, but he refused to disappear from the public eye. On Tuesday night’s two-hour season premiere of Bachelor in Paradise, Johnson made a violent and offensive return.

At the end of the episode, the meat-loving luxury real estate agent was asked to leave by none other than Chris Harrison. (“You told everybody at this hotel last night to suck a d—. You had a chance to turn over a new leaf and you didn’t, and so on behalf of everybody, I’m sorry, I thought this could work out, it didn’t. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”)

Here’s a timeline of the craziest Chad shenanigans.

Aug. 2: He got kicked off Bachelors in Paradise for being as Chad-y as ever.
We are going to present a few of his quotes from the episode, without comment.

On nemesis Evan Bass: “I didn’t murder him, so that’s good. I didn’t rip his head off and shove it down his own mouth. Like yeah, I still kind of want to rip his head off and throw it in the water.”

On everyone: “I’ll murder everyone here. I’ll kill your children and murder your family. Dolla, dolla bills, yo.”

On Harrison: “You don’t even watch this. You went to sleep last night with a mimosa and a robe on. F— you, dude. Go drink your mimosas. You think this is all fun and games? This is my life. You’re going to sit here and try and make me look like a bitch? F— you, Chris Harrison. Come at me.”

On Sarah Herron, a woman born with only the upper half of her arm due to a medical condition: “F— that one-armed bitch.” Johnson has since apologized, tweeting, “I should’ve never ever EVER said that abt @sarahherron tonight. I was a d— im disappointed in myself.”

Aug. 1: He lobbied to be the next Bachelor on After the Final Rose
“There’s probably a lot of people out there that think I’m a bad guy because of the way that I was on the show,” Johnson said. “When they watch Bachelor in Paradise, it’ll probably only be amplified.” (No kidding.)

July 26: His antics were so over-the-top that sweet ol’ ‘Saint’ Nick Benvenutti got up to fight him.
“This is the same egotistical bullsh– that we had to listen to all season,” Benvenutti said while walking down onto the stage. “Chad’s really good at issuing threats, but I’m going to step down from the table of gentlemen and I’m going to bring it down to your level right now.”

Shockingly, it didn’t come to blows.

July 14: He wanted to steal Jordan Rodgers’ brother
When he’s not trying to steal contestants’ exes, he’s trying to steal their family members. The villain decided to address the situation surrounding Jordan’s estranged brother Aaron Rodgers, by tweeting: “I’m thinking next I’m gonna steal Jordan Rodgers brother Aaron Rodgers and make him my brother. #MrStealYoFamily #TheBachelorette.”

Clearly there’s nothing Chad won’t “steal.”

July 14: He stole yet another contestant’s ex.
Chad has dubbed himself as “Mr. Steal Yo Girl,” and his mission to literally find his former housemates’ exes continues. The latest victim? Grant Kemp. “Mr. Steal Yo Girl Don’t sneak around your producer girlfriends back and use her to make connections to get on a reality show, bud,” Chad captioned the photo showcasing Kemp’s ex-girlfriend.

Kemp added fuel to the fire by addressing the photo with the following tweet and roping in Robby Hayes (Chad’s first victim): “They all need Gatorade #extrathirsty @RobbyHHayes.”

 

June 14: He finally watched himself on The Bachelorette.
Johnson finally took the plunge and sat back and watched an episode of The Bachelorette with his sister. He delighted fans by having his sibling record him while watching a scene. “So I finally watched the show at my sisters.. Holy tits now I understand why some people hate me!” Johnson captioned an Instagram video. “Haha but some parts were hilarious too. LOL”

FROM PEN: Nick Viall’s Long Bachelor Journey Finally has a Happy Ending

June 13: He lobbied to join the Entourage cast.
Though Johnson had trouble connecting with the other guys on The Bachelorette, Entourage star Kevin Connolly thinks he’s totally bromance material, tweeting, “Chad looks like a fun dude to chill with!” Johnson appreciated the compliment, writing back on Twitter, “You get me!”

June 12: He compared himself to Rambo.
Johnson is out for vengeance when he returns to the Bachelorette next week, and has thinks he has the perfect role model in Sylvester Stallone‘s Rambo. Johnson has repeatedly said on the show that he hasn’t been the one to instigate things with the other guys … but that he will be the one to finish it, and that sounds an awful like the fictional Vietnam vet.

For those who haven’t seen 1982’s First Blood, it centers on Rambo attempting to reintegrate into society after Vietnam. He finds himself mistreated by local police, eventually waging a one-man war on them after traumatic memories from the war are triggered. Let’s hope things are a little more peaceful in next week’s episode.

June 10: He lobbied Donald Trump to be his running mate.
Johnson thinks he can help the presidential hopeful make American great again.

“I hear you need a VP Running Mate. Look no further. Let’s do this,” he tweeted Friday.

Unfortunately, at 28, Chad is seven years too young to be considered for the VP spot. See you in 2024, Chad?

ONGOING: He wants to befriend fellow reality TV villains.
Vanderpump Rules star Jax Taylor has faced his share of controversy and believes he and Johnson might hit it off.

“So I am told chad and I should be friends from the #Bachelorette,” Taylor tweeted in June. “I like him already.” Johnson responded in kind, writing, “Our friendship would be so awesome it would probably cause people’s brains to explode inside their heads… ”

Likewise, Johnson has struck up an online friendship with The Hills‘ über villain Spencer Pratt.

 

May 2017: He trademarked Bachelorette contestant Lucas Yancey’s “Whaboom”

Although Johnson is no longer on The Bachelorette, he’s still managing to stir the pot with some of Bachelorette Lindsay Rachel’s contestants, specifically Lucas Yancey, a.k.a. Whaboom guy.

“I watched to see if Lucas, the Whaboom guy, got kicked off, and then when he didn’t get kicked off, I trademarked his Whaboom,” Johnson told ET about purchasing the trademark. “I bought it, but then when I told him about it and everything, he didn’t really get how it worked.”

“Then I realized that by the time the trademark actually kicked in, it was like three or four months, he’d probably be off the show by then, and no one would care,” said Johnson, who rerouted his Bachelorette rivals’ domain names to his own Instagram page last year. “I was like, ‘I’ll sell it to you, for double my money.’ I just got a refund. It hadn’t fully gone through. It was like $500.”

We are certain this isn’t the last we’ll hear from him.

After all, Twitter exists.

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