Not all fantasies come true inside the Fantasy Suites, according to former Bachelorette Andi Dorfman
In 2014, Dorfman left the Wisconsin native in shock after choosing Josh Murray‘s proposal over his … but not before she and Viall had already been intimate.
In the former Bachelorette’s new tell-all book It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After, she goes into explicit detail about the not-so-hot night she spent with Viall, now 35.
According to her, she had a “ladyboner-killing, awkward sexual encounter” with him, so she sent him packing.
In her book, she recalls the moment the pair were right in the middle of sex, Viall had asked her, “Would you rather make love … or f—?”
She wrote about that moment:
“We’re finally doing the deed, I’m trying to make the scenario less embarrassing by leading him toward romance, and all he can ask is would I rather f— or make love?”
When Dorfman responded “make love,” the front-runner replied, “Well, If I had four times, I’d like to f— the first three times and make love the fourth.”
Dorfman revealed what was going through her mind at the time: “This is sex, dammit … kiss me, love on me, and if you can’t talk without making an utter fool of yourself, then stay silent.”
Dorfman, now 29, also added that if the sex had been “mind-blowing” with him, she could have maybe overlooked the situation – but that wasn’t the case.
According to Dorfman, the one and only sexual encounter was so awkward that she knew they weren’t meant to be.
Viall had a different impression, telling PEOPLE at the time that he was “completely blindsided.”
“It’s hard to misread some [little things],” he explained. “A lot of that stuff off camera … [like] when you tell someone you love them and they say ‘I wish I could say things back’ – you’re not supposed to assume things, but there’s not much room for interpretation.”
“I’m patiently waiting to find that person that feels the same about me,” he added. “I’m looking forward to getting there.”
It’s Not Okay is in stores now, and Viall’s season of The Bachelor will premiere early next year on ABC.