Plus, Nick eliminates yet another contestant mid-date

By Aurelie Corinthios
January 16, 2017 10:00 PM
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Credit: ABC

Another week of The Bachelor, another topless Corinne moment. Happy Monday, guys.

Last week’s episode ended on a cliffhanger, with Nick Viall deciding to eliminate Liz — a contestant he’d previously had a one-night stand with months before — in the middle of a group date. Instead of showing us what went down during the rest of the date, this week’s episode jumped right into the women catching each other up on the Liz drama back at the house as they got ready for the cocktail party that night.

THE COCKTAIL PARTY & ROSE CEREMONY

Nick waltzed into that living room and came right out with the fact that yes, he had indeed had sex with Liz nine months ago, and yes, he had also sent her home mid-date last night because she was totally screwing his chances of sleeping with the other women. (JK, he didn’t say that last part. But it’s definitely true.)

Obviously none of the other women really cared about *the big Liz reveal* because she was long gone and therefore no longer a threat. But just when things started to get boring AF, enter Corinne. (If you’re only just joining us, all you need to know about Corinne is that she’s this season’s villain, she loves to take her shirt off and she has proudly compared her vagina to a precious metal.)

Corinne is 24 — 12 years younger than Nick, if you were curious — and also has no shame whatsoever. Corinne decided it would be fun to take Nick aside during the cocktail party wearing nothing but a trench coat and heels. (Did she bring that trench coat on the show for this sole purpose? Very likely.)

Anyway, they ate whipped cream out of each other’s mouths and Corinne showed Nick her boobs (again). Nick, for his part, said he appreciates that Corinne is “comfortable with her sexuality,” but is also aware that “giving into this moment won’t do any good for anyone.” Also, it’s only week 3, so he knows he definitely can’t be having sex with anyone just yet.

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Credit: ABC

Nick’s gentle suggestion to slow things down didn’t exactly bode well with Corinne, who retreated to her room to cry, bemoaning that her chances with Nick were forever ruined. And then, like any self-respecting 24-year-old studiously avoiding their responsibilities, she promptly fell asleep. She SLEPT THROUGH THE ENTIRE ROSE CEREMONY. And she was still wearing the trench coat in bed.

Of course, she had already secured a rose from last week’s group date, so she was safe from elimination. Nick ended up sending home Hailey, Lacey and Elizabeth. So yeah. Life isn’t fair, and neither is The Bachelor.

THE GROUP DATE

The next morning, the Backstreet Boys showed up at the house and everyone was reminded that Kevin Richardson is 45 now.

Danielle L., Christen, Kristina, Whitney, Taylor, Jasmine and Corinne headed out on the group date, which consisted of a day spent rehearsing with the Backstreet Boys so they could be backup dancers during their performance that night.

The Backstreet Boys ended up deciding that Danielle L. had the most chemistry with Nick, which meant she got to make out with him while they serenaded the two of them on stage. Also, she beat Jasmine, who was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, which is pretty embarrassing for Jasmine.

BACKSTREET BOYS, WHITNEY, KRISTINA, DANIELLE L., NICK VIALL, CHRISTEN, JASMINE G., CORINNE, TAYLOR

During the evening portion of the date, Nick ended up giving Danielle L. the group date rose, but the best part of the night was definitely when Corinne referred to choreographed dancing as “planned dancing.” She also took a quick nap on a couch in a corner, promised to “make Corinne great again” and spent a good 10 minutes telling the other women that she doesn’t know how to do laundry because she has a nanny back home that makes her bed every morning. This girl is reality television gold.

THE ONE-ON-ONE DATE

Vanessa made Bachelor history this week by simultaneously vomiting in the middle of her one-on-one date and also being the most likable woman on the show.

Nick and Vanessa spent the day in a zero gravity plane, hence the throwing up. But watching Nick comfort her while she was sick and kissing her after she puked was actually kind of adorable.

During the evening portion of their date, Nick and Vanessa continued being the cutest couple ever and also Nick CRIED. HE CRIED BECAUSE VANESSA MAKES HIM HOPEFUL ABOUT THE FUTURE and a tiny part of me actually believed it was genuine because Vanessa is so beautiful and wholesome and basically way too good to be on this show. Why is she still single? Anyway, she got the rose. Duh. The woman is an angel.

THE SECOND GROUP DATE

This week’s dates must have been part of an elaborate plan to get all of the women in their workout clothes because the second group date consisted of a “Nick-athlon” (barf) in which Rachel, Alexis, Astrid, Jaimi, Sarah, Brittany and Dominique were forced to compete in a series of athletic events in order to score some one-on-one time in a hot tub with Nick.

Shout out to Astrid who definitely needs a new sports bra. She did win though, so it probably worked in her favor.

RACHEL, ASTRID, ALEXIS

Meanwhile, Dominique started to get upset because she felt like Nick was gravitating towards all the other women on the group date but her. This whole plot line got way too much screen time considering the fact that it was obvious that Dominique was going home anyway. (Spoiler alert: She did. Nick sent her home during the evening portion of the group date.)

THE POOL PARTY

The next day, Nick decided that instead of a cocktail party that evening he wanted to have a pool party at the house instead. Can you think of a more miserable pool party than 17 women and the one guy they’re all trying to date?

Corinne surprised Nick with a bouncy house and proceeded to straddle him inside of it while the rest of the girls watched from afar. Obviously, this didn’t exactly work in Nick’s favor and he spent the rest of the pool party trying to do damage control while fielding accusations about his behavior with Corinne. Leave it to Vanessa to shut it down.

Vanessa: “I’m not judging Corinne, I’m judging your actions. Are you looking for a wife, or are you looking for someone to f— around with? Because at that point, I’d rather you just not give me a rose.”

Nick:

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Credit: Nickelodeon

That’s all for now, folks.

The Bachelor airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.