And the Corinne drama continues

Advertisement
NICK VIALL, DANIELLE L.
Credit: George Burns/ABC

Happy Monday, guys. We’re back with another episode of The Bachelor, and if you’re getting tired of hearing about Corinne … well, sorry. Her and her corn metaphors are the most entertaining thing we’ve got this season.

POOL PARTY/ROSE CEREMONY

We picked up where we left off last week with all the women complaining because Corinne straddled Nick in a bouncy house during the pool party. Vanessa, a.k.a. our queen, threatened to give back her rose but Nick asked her to try to “be a little more patient” about him hooking up with other women and somehow that line worked.

Chris Harrison then arrived and announced it was time for the rose ceremony, but obviously Corinne was nowhere to be found because she was — wait for it — taking a big fat nap. (Bouncy houses are tiring, okay?)

Taylor and Sarah went to wake her up and informed her that the bouncy house really pissed everyone off and also that she is being entitled.

Corinne, 24, lives at home and has her own nanny: “I am not privileged in any way, shape or form.”

Finally, she dragged her groggy self downstairs for the rose ceremony. (Corinne, no disrespect here, but maybe run a brush through your hair next time.)

Vanessa, Danielle L. and Rachel had already secured roses from last week’s dates so they were safe, and Nick ended up sending home Brittany and Christen.

Christen was DEVASTATED about being sent home but like … c’mon Christen. You must have seen that one coming. And at least you hadn’t just gone full nudesies like Brittany.

ONE-ON-ONE WITH DANIELLE L.

The morning after the rose ceremony, the girls found out they would be starting their “journey around the globe” with Nick: a.k.a. flying to his hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Nick met up with his parents and you could just tell his dad can’t believe this is the fourth time his son has gone on this show. And Nick’s mom was even more upset.

Nick’s mom: “I just want you to be happy. Sometimes I wonder if you’ve just been single for so long you just don’t know what that’s like.”

Nick: “WTF Mom?!”

The first woman to score a one-on-one with Nick in Milwaukee was Danielle L. They went to a bakery and decorated cookies and Danielle was literally never not laughing. Does she speak? Or does she communicate exclusively in giggles?

They also “bumped into” one of Nick’s exes and Danielle was forced to sit down with her and Nick to chat, which would obviously never happen in real life. Of course, this ex just so happened to still be on good terms with Nick, so she only had great things to say about him and made him look really good. Phew!!!

Then they went and sat in the exact park where Nick lost his virginity. Danielle is *so* lucky.

Danielle, talking about her first boyfriend when she was 17: “He would try all these grand romantic gestures and I would just laugh cause I was so awkward.”

Hmmm, well that’s not what’s happening here or anything.

For the evening portion of their date, Nick and Danielle got drinks and she talked a lot about her parents’ divorce, which was somewhat of a relief because at least it stopped her from laughing every other word. She told Nick she didn’t research anything about him before coming onto the show (yeah right) and then she obviously got the rose. Also they went to a Chris Lane concert because The Bachelor has to feature a certain quota of country artists every season.

GROUP DATE, POOP DATE

This week’s group date included Rachel, Alexis, Vanessa, Jasmine, Jaimi, Sarah, Whitney, Kristina, Astrid, Taylor, Josephine, Danielle M. and Corinne. Corinne was so pissed that they went to a dairy farm for the day she literally can’t even.

Corinne: “I want to be in a spa right now being fed a nice taco. Preferably chicken.”

Don’t we all, Corinne. Don’t we all.

They walked into the barn and Nick was bottle-feeding some baby cows as if he totally knew what he was doing. Then they did a whole bunch of farm chores (“I wouldn’t even make my nanny do farm chores,” #JustCorinneThings), including feeding cows, milking cows and shoveling manure.

Corinne wanted nothing to do with the shoveling session (she can’t handle “poopy”), so she gave up and walked away. Then, during the evening portion of the group date, she overheard the rest of the girls talking s— about her for being immature. (Pun intended.)

Corinne, grabbing her boobs and shoving them together: “DO YOU CALL THIS IMMATURE?!?!”

She also compared herself to corn: You have to peel back the layers, but once you do, it’s “juicy” and “buttery” inside. (Her words, not ours.)

Finally, Corinne decided to confront the other women as a group, informing them that she knows she’s not everyone’s favorite person but that if someone has a problem with her, they should come to her instead of talking behind her back. Fair enough.

Sarah responded by demanding whether Corinne is “genuinely ready to marry a 36-year-old man” (probably not) and also ripped on her for taking all those ill-timed naps.

Corinne: “Michael Jordan took naps. Abraham Lincoln took naps. And I’m in trouble for napping?” (She makes a good point. #TeamNaps #TeamCorn.)

This went on for basically the rest of the night, with various women approaching her to fight it out and Corinne honestly did a pretty decent job of defending herself. Turns out she’s actually fairly coherent when she’s not wasted.

The group date rose went to Kristina, a.k.a. this season’s token foreign chick.

ONE-ON-ONE WITH RAVEN

Raven and Nick spent the day watching his little sister Bella play soccer. Raven — who, by the way, speaks reeeeaaaally slooooowwwwwly — also got to meet Nick’s parents, which I guess is kind of a big deal.

Then they went rollerskating with Bella, who at this point has gotten more screen time than Jaimi and Josephine combined. Is ABC about to give this 12-year-old her own show?

Later that evening, Nick and Raven went for dinner at the Milwaukee Art Museum and Raven told Nick the entire saga of how she walked in on her last boyfriend cheating on her. This story involved Raven breaking down a locked door, pulling her boyfriend off of a naked woman and clobbering him with a stiletto. In other words, it sounded completely made up. (We hope for Raven’s sake it was.)

Anyway, she got the rose and she’s already “falling in love” with Nick. Time flies when — no. Never mind. Time never flies with Raven.

COCKTAIL PARTY

The ladies walked into the cocktail party ready to rumble. Corinne immediately started talking s— about Taylor whilst simultaneously stuffing her face. As crazy as this girl is, respect to any Bachelor contestant who actually eats on camera.

Finally Corinne and Taylor stepped outside to talk and it was totally messy and dramatic and fantastic. Taylor, the mental health counselor, started trying to school Corinne in “emotional intelligence” and Corinne wasn’t having any of it.

Corinne: “I can’t even. I want to literally punch her in the face.”

The Bachelor airs Mondays (8 p.m. ET) on ABC.