Wells distracts Ashley from Jared – but how long will that last?

By Aurelie Corinthios
August 29, 2016 10:00 PM

Monday’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise had it all: breakups, makeups, new couples, old fights – and of course, enough of Ashley I.‘s tears to fill a swimming pool. Let’s begin.

ASHLEY/JARED/CAILA CIRCUS CONTINUES

This love triangle is officially going in circles. Picking up where we left off last week, Caila was back with more sugar-coated cattiness aimed at Ashley than we could have ever dreamed of.

Caila: I’m sorry that you guys are longtime friends and that he like, loves you like a sister. You and I don’t have to talk for the rest of the time here, if that’s what you want!

…The shade.

via GIPHY

Then Jared came over to try to make Ashley feel better, which of course only made her cry. And by cry we mean full-on ugly sob with no attempt to restrain herself whatsoever. Ashley cried about Jared, then she cried about the fact that she was crying about Jared and then she cried about her dead dog Lucy because once Ashley starts, she can’t stop.

R.I.P. Lucy and also our sanity from watching this woman cry about a slightly weasel-y looking restaurant manager from Rhode Island on national television every week.

ENTER WELLS, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR

The buildup to Wells’ arrival was truly majestic. If you don’t know who Wells is, he’s adorable and also the most “real” guy to ever grace our Bachelor screens. He’s down-to-earth, funny, not particularly tall or fit, doesn’t style his hair in a ridiculous swoop and for all of that we love him.

Ashley was immediately attracted to him and the rest of the group quickly seized this opportunity, making it their mission to convince Wells to ask Ashley on his date.

Ashley and Wells got to talking and complimenting each other’s Instagram accounts (nothing screams 2016 romance more), and finally, finally he asked her out. Unclear who was more excited: Ashley herself, or Jared to finally be rid of her.

Even though Ashley bemoaned the fact that she’s “really bad at flirting,” the date went really well. They went out for dinner, made a lot of puns about tacos, talked about music and made out. Considering how long it took Wells to plant one on JoJo, this was huge.

LACE AND GRANT DRAMA

By the next morning, all the focus quickly turned to Lace and Grant‘s relationship. As Nick puts it, these two crazy kids definitely complement each other, but they’re also always one fight away from total self-destruction.

This time it started because Lace sidled up to Carl, one of the new guys, and started blatantly flirting with him in front of Grant. Then she turned to Grant and said, “Good luck getting a rose tomorrow,” because Lace is just savage like that.

Grant, understandably, was pissed off, but when he confronted Lace about it she refused to accept any of the blame whatsoever.

Grant: You started hitting on Carl in front of me just to piss me off and then you said: ‘Good luck getting a rose tomorrow.’
Lace: Yeah. So why are you bugging me?
Grant: Because I was done with your attitude.
Lace: Great. If you’re done, then I’m done.
Grant: You were disrespectful!
Lace: K. Get out of my face. Have fun finding love with someone else.

Like we said … savage.

Then Lace went to her room and started crying, probably because she realized she was being a drunk idiot, but it didn’t end there.

Lace: I think it’s just time I go home.
Grant: Do you actually mean that or are you saying that because you’re being emotional right now?
Lace: Why do you care?
Grant: Because I love you.
Lace: I’ve had enough of that word! Stop. Ugh, this is so dramatic.

You can’t make this stuff up.

This fight went on for way too long and was way too ridiculous to even bother describing in detail. Basically, Grant ended up apologizing to Lace for “overreacting” even though Lace was clearly the one being insane, and then they kissed and made up.

Lace, post-argument: I need a shot.

So do we, Lace. So do we.

JOSH/AMANDA/NICK DRAMA

That same night, there was more tension brewing in the house – but this time between Nick and Josh.

It all started when Amanda told Jen and Nick they could sleep in the private bedroom that night since she planned on sleeping in her own room instead of with Josh because she was tired and wanted to go to bed early.

Amanda then went off to bed without informing Josh of this news, and when Josh saw Nick and Jen heading upstairs he immediately tried to stop them, telling them he would be sleeping in there with Amanda. They advised him Amanda had already gone to bed, and Josh wasn’t pleased with this at all.

Nothing more really came of it, but it was clearly setting the stage for the real Nick v. Josh showdown later.

COCKTAIL PARTY AND ROSE CEREMONY

By the time the cocktail party rolled around, Daniel, Carl and Ryan were on the chopping block.

Can we talk about the fact that Izzy is suddenly like, a couple with this lamp guy Brett and making out with him? She broke up with Vinny like five seconds ago.

via GIPHY

Daniel was trying so hard to get a rose. He made fugly bracelets for all the girls and even arranged to get a whole platter of fries, chicken nuggets and onion rings for Haley, which quite frankly might be the most romantic gesture this show has ever seen.

Ew, Evan and Carly told each other they’re “falling in love” with each other. I call bulls—. She threw up after kissing him like a week ago.

Josh and Amanda also told each other they were falling in love with each other. More believable, but please don’t subject us to any more face-sucking.

The twins, clearly bored because neither of them were into Ryan or Carl, decided to pull Nick aside to stir up more of the same Nick/Josh drama we’ve been hearing since the beginning of the season. Nick doesn’t trust Josh. Josh has a temper. Andi’s book said some very scary things about Josh, and isn’t it a funny coincidence that now Josh is suddenly back on TV and paired up with the most likable girl there? Is he – gasp – on this show for self-promotion???

Then it was time for the rose ceremony and the twins decided it wouldn’t be right to hand out their roses since they didn’t actually like any of the available guys. They sent themselves home, as well as Daniel, Carl and Ryan – but not without pulling Amanda aside first.

Crying, they told Amanda that a “trusted source” had informed them of all these allegations against Josh that have already been made countless times but that for some reason are supposed to appear dramatic again now. Be careful, Amanda. Trust us, Amanda. His intentions aren’t pure, Amanda. (Seriously, they said all of this in unison and it was creepy.)

Then the twins peaced out, leaving Nick to deal with the s—storm they left behind.

Amanda started crying, telling Josh that she was worried because the twins are her best friends so why would they lie to her?! Josh became immediately enraged and demanded the entire group come down to the beach so that the “source” would reveal itself.

… Cue giant screaming match between Josh and Nick. Nick could barely get a word in edgewise because Josh just kept interrupting him, but he did own up to what he told the twins and maintained he didn’t trust Josh. Josh, for his part, really looked like he was about to snap at any moment.

Eventually the argument dissipated and Josh went upstairs to pack his stuff – but obviously he wasn’t really leaving because Amanda decided she trusted him and wasn’t going to listen to what anyone else had to say because she’s a big girl now.

Fare thee well, Amanda.

WELLS AND JAMIE DATE

The next morning everyone slept in late … except for Wells, so when new girl Jamie arrived, the two got to spend lots of alone time together – without Ashley’s watchful/skilled stalker-y eye.

Jamie ended up asking Wells on her date before meeting any of the other guys, and he accepted. They left the house shortly before Ashley woke up, and Jared immediately descended into panic mode.

Much to his surprise, Ashley was weirdly chill when she found out Wells had gone on the date. Almost … unsettlingly chill. Why? Because she wasn’t “worried,” and was pretty certain their date would “probably suck.”

Ashley was sadly, horrifically mistaken. Jamie is a *cool* girl. She likes comics and has a Batman tattoo on her finger. Wells basically went from six to midnight, and in the time it probably takes Ashley to clip on her extensions these two were making out underneath a waterfall.

via GIPHY

ASHLEY AND CAILA FIGHT, AGAIN

Meanwhile, back at the house Ashley inexplicably decided to have another one-on-one sit-down with Caila, despite the fact that they apparently had agreed to stay away from each other.

Ashley: My jealousy has unbelievably been released from my body in the past 48 hours!

Key word: “unbelievably.”

This whole conversation was hilarious, mostly because you could tell Caila wanted to rip Ashley’s eyes out but was still trying so hard not to be a b—- because that’s not her brand or whatever.

Caila: I guess it is hard to get to know somebody with someone else who loves them here.
Ashley: I would feel guilty about it too.

LOL Ashley that’s not what she meant.

Caila started tearing up, saying she didn’t need to be there anymore because she “didn’t need the attention” and didn’t feel comfortable pursuing her relationship with Jared in the same house as Ashley, which honestly you can’t really blame her for.

Then Caila went over to Jared and told him she was leaving and that her mind was made up.

… Run for your life, Ashley.

Bachelor in Paradise continues Tuesday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

Advertisement