On this week's episode, two contestants take their relationship to the next level with an overnight one-on-one date
Credit: ABC

After the rose ceremony, in which Jonathan, Mikey and Michael were sent home, this week the Bachelor in Paradise couples were all over the place, with some solidifying their healthy relationship (Carly and Kirk), some breaking up unexpectedly (Ashley S. and Dan) and some just blowing our minds (Joe and his complete lack of respect and decency).

Carly and Kirk Were Basically Meant to Be

Carly and Kirk were coupled up by the end of the first episode and have been inseparable ever since.

This week, Carly got her first date card, sending the two went on a romantic one-on-one date. They were absolutely adorable together the entire time, and while I did get nervous that Kirk was going to mess things up (he had just gotten out of a two-year relationship before going on the show and was worried things were moving too fast), all was right in the world when he realized what a good thing the two had going and decided to put aside his fears.

It turned out that Carly’s brother Zak (who’s also part of the Bachelor family – he was on Desiree Hartsock‘s season of The Bachelorette) was actually getting married in Ireland on the day that Carly and Kirk went on their date in Mexico. Despite the difficult decision she made to miss the wedding in order to be on the show, Carly was over-the-moon happy. Like, really happy – she actually couldn’t say a single world without a giant, adorable grin on her face.

The two ended up getting a room at the hotel they were having dinner at, marking the first official Fantasy Suite date on Bachelor in Paradise.

“Carly has been showing me a really open and endearing side of herself. Why am I pushing that away?” wondered Kirk. “I should embrace this right now because it’s really good. So I’m going to ignore my fears and go with my heart.” Can I have a Kirk too, please?

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Joe, It’s Time for You to Go

Every time we think we’ve seen the worst from Joe, he comes back with even more impressively awful behavior. Following last week’s episode where Joe threatened to "beat the pulp" out of another male contestant’s brains, Joe hopped right back in the good old “villain” saddle this week.

It’s the morning after the rose ceremony where Juelia (genuine, sweet, widowed single mother Juelia) gave her rose to Joe, unaware that he was fully using her just to stick around until Samantha arrived on the show.

Samantha was a contestant on Chris Soules‘ season of The Bachelor, but very little is known of her since she got basically no air time and was sent home fairly early on by Soules.

While the contestants on Bachelor in Paradise don’t know who the next person to arrive will be per the format of the show, Joe seemed suspiciously convinced that Samantha was on her way – and lo and behold, she showed up, date card in hand.

After introducing herself to the group, Samantha immediately asked Joe to go on her date, and he immediately accepted – which raised everyone’s eyebrows seeing as she had barely said two words to any of the guys yet, including Joe himself. The two left for their date already holding hands, and Juelia was left completely blindsided.

The date ended up being a photo shoot with our very own PEOPLE magazine celebrating “hot bodies” – and even Joe himself could admit he fell short in that department.

For two people stripping down to their bathing suits and posing suggestively on top of each other on a first date, Joe and Samantha seemed extremely comfortable, making out in the shower for all the cameras and crew to see.

“I think he got excited – in more ways than one,” giggled Samantha. Ew. Please no.

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From the moment they returned from their date until the end of the episode, Samantha and Joe were joined at the hips, holding hands and making out in the hot tub at every chance they got.

Juelia was extremely upset at Joe’s behavior (he had made out with Juelia the night before and told her multiple time he was there for her and had feelings for her), and after some serious prodding from Jared, Joe finally sat down for a talk with Juelia. Of course, he didn’t apologize and barely even looked her in the eyes throughout the entire conversation. At this point, the group became convinced that Joe and Samantha had been in communication prior to arriving in Mexico – something Joe at first denied but finally admitted.

Finally, Dan came to Juelia’s defense and insisted that Joe talk to her again and truly explain himself. While at first he acted completely stand-offish and refused to admit he had done anything wrong, once Juelia told him she would be telling Samantha about everything (the two women are good friends from being on Soules’ season of The Bachelor together), Joe panicked and immediately apologized for his behavior. At that exact moment, Samantha approached to join the conversation, and she and Juelia walked off to speak in private.

“I don’t want to lose her over some stupid drama with f—, what’s her name?” said Joe in an on-camera interview. ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, JOE?

We’ll have to wait for Monday night’s episode to find out what exactly went down, but based on the previews, it doesn’t appear that Samantha was too bothered by Joe’s past behavior – looks like this villain has found his villainess.

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Ashley S. and Dan Are on the Rocks

Ashley S. and Dan have been paired up since the first episode of the season, but this week things shifted when Dan realized he didn’t think their personalities were entirely compatible.

“Two nights ago, Ashley was like a whirlwind. She was emotional, and I just have a very low tolerance for out-of-character moments,” said Dan. “It’s so taxing.”

On her end, Ashley – who has become known for her curious behavior on the show, which might be exactly the kind of “out-of-character” moments Dan is referring to – admitted she is completely smitten with Dan, even saying she was “falling in love.”

They eventually sat down for a serious conversation, and their honesty was commendable. It seemed like a very mature, real conversation, and while we’re not quite sure where the two stand at the moment, I still have hopes for the onion queen.

JJ Is Really Growing on Me

I never really thought I would say this about the self-proclaimed villain from Kaitlyn Bristowe‘s season of The Bachelorette, but here goes: I like JJ. I like him. I really do, he’s growing on me. I was so happy when Clare decided to give him her rose this week – if nothing else, we know we’re in for at least a few more hilarious metaphors from the guy.

JJ got asked out for the first time on the show by newcomer Megan, who was a contestant on Soules’ Bachelor season.

“If a trash bag had asked me out on a one-on-one date, I would have said yes and been really excited,” said JJ. “The fact that it’s a beautiful blonde makes this exponentially more exciting.” Keep ’em coming, JJ.

Part two of this week’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise airs Monday at 8 p.m. ET on ABC, followed by Bachelor in Paradise: After Paradise, a live one-hour show at 9 p.m. ET.