News of her husband's "betrayal ... felt like a bad dream," Anna admitted on the second installment of Jill & Jessa: Counting On


Anna Duggar is still fighting for her marriage.

The second installment of Jill & Jessa: Counting On opened with Anna addressing her harrowing year.

“I knew about this long before it hit the press,” Ann said of her family’s first scandal, which saw the release of reports that Josh Duggar had behaved inappropriate toward five underage girls when he was teen. Anna explains that Josh was “very detailed and very honest” with her parents when they visited Arkansas for the first time and met his family. Having to relive this information “was like ripping open an old wound,” she says.

Shortly after this news broke, their daughter Meredith Grace was born, and Anna said her fourth child’s birth provided the couple with some much needed hope.

But then Josh’s second scandal – Josh admitting his infidelity and pornography addiction – broke, and that was a total shock to Anna. She admitted her first reaction was denial.

“It felt like a bad dream,” said Anna, 27, as she fought back tears. At this point, the camera focused on her fidgeting hands. “It’s such a betrayal for a spouse for through what we’re walking through and it was hard.”

Anna explained she couldn’t act based on how she was feeling because she’d “turn a mess into a disaster.” Instead, she clung to her faith and asked God to help her figure out how to respond.

Anna’s sister-in-law Jill (Duggar) Dillard tearfully said she really wanted to reach out to Anna during this time because, being married herself, she wanted to be there for her.

After news of Josh’s infidelity broke, he announced that he was entering rehab for treatment. Anna said that was his decision – but it wasn’t an easy one because it meant she would be left alone to care for their newborn and three other children. In the meantime, Anna has moved in with the Duggars and is living the girl’s old room.

At one point, a producer asked her what her plans were for her marriage, and it took her a moment to answer as the camera cut to her hands.

“In my heart, when I got married, I vowed to God first and then to Joshua, ‘For better or for worse. ‘Til death do we part,’ ” Anna said. “I pray that through all of this that I would be an extension of God’s love to Joshua, that I would love him and forgive him and wait patiently and allow God to work through our hearts.”

“My prayer and my heart’s desire is for our marriage to be restored,” she said.

Sisters Jana and Joy-Anna have really enjoyed having their sister-in-law and her “little ones” living with them. Anna’s stay with the Duggars also gave them a chance to witness her strength throughout these trying times.

“I’m really amazed by the strength that God has given Anna and just how she’s going through all of this and having a good attitude about it all even though it’s so hard and you know it hurts really bad,” Joy-Anna acknowledged.

The rest of the episode was spent on sister Jessa (Duggar) Seewald‘s baby shower, which involved the guys making baby food, as well as and Jill and her husband Derick‘s move to Central America with their baby Israel.

The third and final episode of Jill & Jessa: Counting On airs Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on TLC.