"I knew if I went off of what I was feeling [rather than faith], I would turn a mess into a disaster," Anna shares in the latest episode of TLC's Jill & Jessa: Counting On

By Lanford Beard
December 16, 2015 01:30 PM

Anna Duggar does not mince words that her husband Josh‘s confession to infidelity and pornography addiction was a “betrayal.”

In an emotional interview for the ongoing TLC special Jill & Jessa: Counting On, which follows the lives of her sisters-in-law Jill (Duggar) Dillard and Jessa (Duggar) Seewald, Anna admits that the August bombshell “was definitely a hard thing” to endure.

“I think it is such a betrayal for a spouse to go through what we’re walking through,” she continues, having to pause frequently to hold back tears.

“Not only was it a betrayal against me, but it was also a betrayal against those that call themselves Christian because here we were as a Christian couple,” continues Anna, 27. “Everyone was able to see us get married and to vow before God to be loyal to each other, and that loyalty was broken. And so, for my heart, it was just broken.”

Calling 27-year-old Josh, who is currently undergoing treatment, “my first love. He’s my one and only,” Anna says she held fast in her faith during a time of family crisis.

“I knew if I went off of what I was feeling, I would turn a mess into a disaster,” she says. “In the stun and in the shock of everything, I was just praying, ‘God, help me to respond to all of this.’ I didn’t know what to do. I knew we needed help, and I was just praying God would give the wisdom and the help that we needed to take the next step.”

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While we see shots of Anna taking care of daughter Meredith Grace – who was born in July, not quite two months after Josh found himself embroiled in scandal for the first time this year when he admitted to inappropriate behavior with five underage girls as a teen – Josh’s younger sister Jinger, 21, praises her strong sister-in-law.

“Anna is amazing,” says Jinger. “She displays to each one of us what it is to have unconditional love, and she’s walking through this better than any one of us could have ever imagined.”

Jill & Jessa: Counting On airs Sundays (8 p.m. ET) on TLC.

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