April 14, 2016 09:15 PM

Andi Dorfman says she wasn’t exactly swooning during her first rose ceremony on Juan Pablo Galavis‘ season of The Bachelor.

The former Bachelorette star recalls standing in the rose ceremony room at 4:30 a.m. waiting for Galavis, and not being particularly happy.

“It’s freezing cold, everyone is cold and nervous standing on these risers, and you could hear the teeth chattering and the deep breaths,” she told Cosmopolitan. “And I watch Juan Pablo come in with a stack of roses, and I’m thinking, ‘This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever been a part of. I’m standing here cold, my feet hurt, and I’m waiting for a dude I don’t know to give me a rose.’ ”

The star would go on to dump Galavis after their fantasy sweet date.

Dorfman, 29, is set to release her book It’s Not Okay. She wrote it based on her journals chronicling her and breakup with former professional baseball player Josh Murray, to whom she was engaged.

“The good, bad, psychotic – You name it, it’s in there,” she recently told PEOPLE.

The lawyer is currently “living the single life,” she said, adding “I’m not seeing anyone.”

It’s Not Okay hits stores May 17.

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