Steven's Top 10 Quacked-Up American Idol Quotes

"Well hell fire, save matches, f–– a duck and see what hatches!"
– Pleasantly surprised after hearing the uniquely deep voice of country crooner (and now a top-four finalist!) Scotty McCreery, 17, for the first time during the Milwaukee audition

"You could call me 'late for dinner' and I'd still love you – but not lunch."
– Kindly letting Jennifer Lopez know he prefers to be called Steven, rather than Steve

"You opened up a can of woo-kee-do on us tonight!"
– Coining a new can of butt whooping for contestant Naima Adedapo

"Slap that baby on the ass and call me Christmas!"
– Thrilled by the talent at the Milwaukee auditions

"What's with the juju bees on your ooh ooh bees?"
– Questioning Tiffany Rios, who failed to advance to Hollywood in spite (or because?) of her shiny audition costume

"Dawg is going to turn into a pussycat right now."
– Ribbing the always nice Randy Jackson as he gave good news to crying Emma Henry, 15, at her audition

"Millions of people in America are really angry because you piss them off so f––ing good."
– Presenting Casey Abrams with an bleeped-out compliment after his performance of Maroon 5's

"Well, you look like you could be one of my ... nope, not gonna say it ... Friends. [You look like you could be] one of my friends."
– Cutting himself off while chatting with hopeful Alyson Jados, who looked a bit like his daughters, after her audition

"Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a child?"
– Probing the nervous Michael Perotto, who belted out a bizarre version of Proud Mary during auditions

"You are an artist in the truest sense of the word. You took a song by – Nat King Cole who sang, 'Ke-mo, ki-mo spare-o-spare, Ma-hi, ma-ho, ma-rump-sticka-pumpernickle, Soup-bang, nip-cat, polly-mitcha-cameo.' You do what's in your heart."
– Responding to Casey Abram's performance of Nat King Cole's "Nature Boy" by borrowing a few bars from the legendary musician's child-friendly tune, "Ke Mo Ki Mo (The Magic Song)"

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