Amazing Race Recap: Jen's Gotta Go Potty

The Amazing Race 14’s final three was decided after the confusing and grueling second half of the Beijing leg.

Biking on Empty: As teams arrived at the “fake pit stop” after having been up for more than 24 hours, Phil told them the race was still on in Beijing. Teams headed to a local strip mall and looked through shops for Travelocity gnomes to drag along for the rest of the leg. (This always feels like one giant branding exercise.) Margie & Luke found the doll first. They were instructed to go to Gu Gong Xi Bei Jiao to pick up electric bikes, which they were to ride past the Forbidden City and through Tiananmen Square to Dongdan subway station. The legal team knew the Asian name for Forbidden City, so not surprisingly they arrived at the bikes faster although it took them a little while to figure out how to use the gears. It was here that the producers included a close-up of Jaime littering lest you’d forgotten her self-absorption. Waiting Game: The legal team, not shockingly, chose the Chinese waiter option at detour time as taking a table’s long order in Mandarin and reciting it to the Chef properly would be a breeze for the fluent duo. Victor said that if they didn’t ace it, their parents would kill them. (Parental shame has become quite motivational.) It took only two attempts and allowed them to arrive at the U-turn first. They chose the sisters, afraid to meet them in a footrace, but scribbled an apology.

Costume Bawl: The other teams chose the opera house task instead. They had to recreate the models’ princess and gentleman costumes and makeup on each other. The sisters whizzed through the task while Luke struggled, applying “Alice Cooper drag queen” makeup too heavily and fighting with his mom who wouldn’t sit still. He apologized for not being a girl. (Apparently poking fun at the deaf is unacceptable but he’s allowed to throw around gender stereotypes.) Jaime’s on-going war with cabbies continued as language issues persisted, a door closed on her head (karma!) and they were taken to the wrong opera house. However, they caught up with the others as all three teams had an incredibly hard time finding the U-turn stand, which happened to be next door. Margie solicited help from a local who figured out it was back at the opera. But the cheerleaders claimed to have been wandering the nearby streets for three hours and became very defeatist.

U-Turnabout Is Fair Play: Kisha & Jen were forced to do the restaurant task, which proved much more difficult for them and much more hilarious for viewers as the English translations of their butchered orders were displayed as subtitles. Instead of vegetarian noodles, they requested a plate of good western heads lack fish. Eventually they sounded it out phonetically and still managed to finish before the cheerleaders found their next clue.

Bug Trouble in Little China: The leg’s last roadblock was the dreaded eating challenge. One member had to down a plateful of exotic street food (fried grasshoppers, larva, scorpions and a starfish). Victor ate quickly and complained about smells, sponginess and bad taste a lot. The legal team arrived at the pit stop, Olympic centerpiece Niao Chao, aka the Bird’s Nest, first and won a trip to the Galapagos Islands. Margie, who does all the heavy lifting for her team, had eaten the gross grub, so she and Luke placed second. The sisters arrived at the food carts third, but Jen ate her serving very slowly, took small bites and washed it down with tons of water. While she was busy gagging, spitting up and filling her bladder, the cheerleaders snuck up and Cara chowed down. No b–ching! No puking! She looked like Kobayashi at Coney Island!

Pee-Brained: The sisters finished eating first but the cheerleaders were hot on their tails as Jaime had her first cabbie luck. Chinese water was Jen’s enemy once more. (Remember last week’s pool breakdown?) She required so much water to gulp down the creatures that she had to pee something fierce. She couldn’t run and feared peeing on herself so they found some port-a-potties at the Bird’s Nest. While on bathroom break, the cheerleaders found Phil and secured a chance to be the first all-female team to win. As the sisters checked in, Phil told them there were mere seconds between third and fourth. Jen said she felt “guilty as hell” but Kisha claimed, “I’m not going to hold that against her or say she lost it. She is a big part if why we got this far.” – Carrie Bell

Tell us: Was the detour unfair? Would you have peed on yourself to make the final three? Who do you think will win next week?


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