"My gut aches, it actually aches deeper than I ever knew it could," Amanda Kloots wrote on her Instagram

By Gabrielle Chung
July 29, 2020 11:55 PM
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Nick Cordero and Amanda Kloots with son Elvis Eduardo
Amanda kloots/instagram

Amanda Kloots is mourning her husband Nick Cordero, who died on July 5 from coronavirus complications at the age of 41.

On Wednesday, the fitness instructor, 38, shared a heartbreaking note about her husband's death alongside a family photo that featured their 13-month-old son Elvis Eduardo. Kloots wrote on her Instagram, "Every day as I process this loss more and more I realize that new things that are hitting me on a daily basis. Today it was that I lost our family."

"I lost my husband. Elvis lost his father, but today I realized we lost our family. We didn’t really even get to be a family. We won’t have those memories that I dreamed of since Elvis was born," she continued. "This hit me hard. It stung like a horrible bug bite actually."

"The pain of everything has recently begun to stop me in my tracks. I’ll be doing something and I freeze, unable to think or move. My gut aches, it actually aches deeper than I ever knew it could," Kloots shared.

Amanda Kloots and Nick Cordero with son Elvis Eduardo
Noam Galai/Getty

The mother of one went on to explain that she hopes by sharing her story, she lets those who may be in the same situation know that they "are not alone."

"Grieving is a journey we all do differently," she wrote. "Talking about it when I have the strength is helping me. I don’t always have the strength, sometimes I can’t talk at all."

"There are no answers. There is no right or wrong. I can only allow myself the time and the process and be honest with that," Kloots added.

Over the weekend, the Hooray For founder revealed that their son said his first word, sharing a video of Elvis looking at a picture of the late Broadway star on a picture lamp as he starts to speak.

"Elvis said his first words today!! Listen closely! He pointed at Nick in our new picture light and said 'right there.' He hasn't seen Nick since March 30th. The fact that he still knows who his Dada is, point to him and give him a kiss to me is amazing," Kloots captioned the clip.

Last week, the Kloots opened up about her "new normal," sharing with her Instagram followers that she's starting the process of moving the family's belongings into the home she purchased with Cordero before he died.

"These next couple weeks I will start the transition of moving into the home Nick and I bought together," she said in a post. "I’m not expecting this to be easy, in fact I think it will be very hard, but I’m going into it knowing I need to be strong. I have to find my new normal, at least whatever that is for Elvis and I right now. I know Nick will be with us."

"He wanted to live in this house more than anything so I’ll put lots of family photos up and make sure his presence is with us," Kloots added.

RELATED VIDEO: Nick Cordero's Wife Amanda Kloots Tells PEOPLE: 'Words Can't Describe How Much I Will Miss Him'

The family was in the middle of finalizing their cross-country move from New York City to Los Angeles when Cordero fell ill with the novel coronavirus.

Cordero died on July 5 at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, where he had been in the intensive care unit for more than 90 days due to complications related to the COVID-19 virus.

During his 13-week hospitalization, the Tony-nominated actor faced a series of complications that led to septic shock and required him to have his right leg amputated.

In support of Cordero's family, a GoFundMe page was created to raise funds for his medical bills.

As information about the coronavirus pandemic rapidly changes, PEOPLE is committed to providing the most recent data in our coverage. Some of the information in this story may have changed after publication. For the latest on COVID-19, readers are encouraged to use online resources from CDC, WHO, and local public health departments. PEOPLE has partnered with GoFundMe to raise money for the COVID-19 Relief Fund, a GoFundMe.org fundraiser to support everything from frontline responders to families in need, as well as organizations helping communities. For more information or to donate, click here.