Nick Cordero's Wife Says She's Experiencing a 'Different Type of Grief' in the Wake of Actor's Death
"Sometimes it just hits you at the weirdest times in the weirdest moments," Amanda Kloots shared on her Instagram Stories
In a video shared on her Instagram Stories on Monday, Kloots revealed that she's been turning to loved ones during this difficult time, sharing that a friend recently gave her "really good advice" on how to process grief.
"We started talking about grief and grieving and she said, 'Amanda, it would be a great thing for you if you found something that was new for yourself right now, that is new that you haven't done before, that doesn't have any attachment to your past with Nick and your past as Nick and Amanda,' " Kloots said.
"She said, 'You have so much in your life that is with Nick that will always be with Nick, but maybe something that will help you through this grief is to find something ... that is your experience and yours alone that can make you feel comforted during this transition,' " she continued. "I don't know what it'll be, but I loved that idea. I'm going to try really hard to find that for myself."
Kloots, who is a mom to 13-month-old son Elvis Eduardo, then explained why she's been so open about her "grieving process" following Cordero's death.
"This whole story with Nick, I have shared since day one because I thought it was very important to talk about. Nick situation was important to talk about because he was 41 [with] no pre-existing health conditions and no symptoms," she said. "I will continue as much as I can to talk about this grieving process and hopefully it'll help others like how sharing Nick's story has helped others."
"If we can't help other people in this time, through these times, then what good is bottling it up and keeping it in?" Kloots continued.
The fitness instructor went on to acknowledge that "some people need to share, some people need to keep it in and process it inside" when it comes to grief.
"Everybody's different," she said. "I've definitely have had my fair share of grief in life, but obviously this is something extremely different with losing a husband so young and having a son. This is a different type of grief for me."
"Some days are better than others. Sometimes it just hits you at the weirdest times in the weirdest moments. Sometimes you're totally okay. Sometimes you're laughing and you feel bad for laughing because you're like, 'I shouldn't be laughing right now.' And then, sometimes you are in tears and you're like, 'You know, Nick wouldn't want me to be crying right now.' "
Kloots added that she hopes sharing her story "will be helpful in the next journey, this next chapter [in] these next couple of months."
"I think my goal right now is to take it one day at a time and do what feels right on that day," she shared. "So far, I have found that keeping busy helps to a degree."
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Last week, Kloots revealed in an emotional video that because she's been "dealing with so much" at the moment, her grief doesn't usually hit her until the end of the day.
"It oftentimes doesn't hit me until night when I'm going to sleep," she said, tearing up. "I don't think there is a right answer to grief or how someone grieves."
"It's tough for sure, even for somebody like me who's type A and wants to keep pressing on," she shared, explaining that work "helps" to get her through the day. "It's so hard. And when it does hit you, it's so hard. But I know it's going to get easier every day."
Cordero died on July 5 at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, where he had been hospitalized for over 90 days due to complications related to the novel COVID-19 virus.
In support of Cordero's family, a GoFundMe page was created to raise funds for his medical bills.
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