The "jerks" get Tom Cruise, plus more from Nicole Kidman, Lindsay Lohan and others

By People Staff
Updated June 14, 2005 03:00 PM

• “You’re a jerk … jerk … you’re a jerk.”
Tom Cruise, to pranksters who squirted water in his face at the London premiere of War of the Worlds

• “Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes announced that they have gotten engaged. Afterward, Katie Holmes was very excited and said, ‘I couldn’t believe it when my publicist told me.’ “
Conan O’Brien

• “Tom Cruise, but I would not want him jumping on my couch in them.”
Kenneth Cole, when asked who he would love to see wearing his shoes

• “In terms of your life, if you start to exploit it, then what’s real, and what’s not? What’s yours and what isn’t?”
– Cruise’s ex-wife Nicole Kidman, to Vanity Fair

• “Black guys love me – Damon Dash, P. Diddy. 50 (Cent) called my agent for my number. He said he was watching Mean Girls and loved it. I was freaking out! The first thing I thought was, ‘Where’s Eminem?’ I’m in love with him!”
Lindsay Lohan, to Elle magazine

• “When the world ends in 200 years, it’d be nice to have it be, ‘Oh yeah, and the best band was Coldplay.’ “
Chris Martin, on his long-term goal for his chart-topping band

[IMAGE “2” “right” “std” ]• “I go in and get things that I don’t even know how to use, but they look cool.”
Nick Lachey, on his shopping addiction – home-improvement superstore Lowe’s

• “The roles have gotten better, but the girls have disappeared.”
Batman Begins’ Michael Caine, on aging in Hollywood

• “It’s not like I can say, ‘God I’m sexy.’ If I do, my wife clubs me.”
Grey’s Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey