They Said What? for August 2, 2005

• “Gay men, oh they love me. It’s like I’m the new Cher.”
– Kelly Clarkson

• “She’s been acting since she was five: She’s been acting stupid. She learned at a very young age about dumb blondes.”
– Jessica Simpson’s dad, Joe Simpson, on his daughter’s talent, to Elle

• “His whole behavior is so shocking. It’s inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it’s kind of a sickness.”
– Lauren Bacall, on Tom Cruise, to Time

• “When I worked with Willie Nelson – who is just about the nicest man I’ve ever worked with in my life – I thought, ‘If I’d have been gay, it would’ve saved me millions, just because we’d still be happily married.’ “
– Nelson’s Dukes of Hazzard costar Burt Reynolds, to Jay Leno

• “I’m not committing one way or the other. Because if I make it to 90, I don’t want to be tripping over my eyelids.”
– Must Love Dogs star Diane Lane, on plastic surgery

• “I wish you had some infrared thought glasses because you’d see a giant question mark rotating slowly.”
– Tommy Lee, talking to a producer after a lecture, on his Tommy Lee Goes to College reality show

[IMAGE “2” “right” “std” ]• “The only thing I’ve used sex for is to get more sex.”
– Dukes of Hazzard star Johnny Knoxville, to Elle

• “I remember spending years looking as white as a ghost, and feeling like one, so I guess you could say I’m enjoying a more comfortable lifestyle these days.”
– Johnny Depp, on the tan he acquired while filming the Pirates of the Caribbean sequel

• “The more money you get, the less you have to buy things.”
– My Life on the D-List star Kathy Griffin, on the perks of fame