The Red Carpet Quotes That Had Us Cracking Up

J. Lo’s dress isn’t ready to party, Emma’s scared to meet Clint and more from the Oscar pre-shows
By People Staff
Updated August 26, 2015 12:16 AM

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Credit: Steve Granitz/WireImage; inset: Steve Granitz/WireImage

"If he comes up to me, I’ll faint."
– on her Oscar nerves and what she’d do if Clint Eastwood spoke to her

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"You can’t party in this dress, not even me."
– Zuhair Murad-clad to ABC on her costume change for the Oscar afterparties

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"We’re out drinking for a week straight. [Our son Jack is] two-and-a-half, he can take care of himself for a few days."
– Chris Pratt on how he and wife Anna Faris will celebrate after the show

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Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty; inset: Ari Perilstein/Getty

"I’m going to kill [Justin] Bieber. It’s friendly, but I’m going to give him a couple shots, I’m going to give him a couple rim shots he’s not expecting."
– Kevin Hart on hosting the upcoming Comedy Central roast of

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"He has a very flirtatious nature. He’s very charismatic in his ability to just command the room effortlessly."
– The Theory of Everything nominee Felicity Jones to when asked if Stephen Hawking ever hit on her

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"She’s a really good actress, I don’t need to see [the movie] to know how good she is."
– Melanie Griffith on her decision to skip daughter Dakota Johnson’s new film Fifty Shades of Grey

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"I would do the happy dance but I’m on TV."
– Common’s mother, Mahalia Ann Hines, referring to how thrilled she is for her son and his Oscar nod

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"I’m going to keep my hands behind my back, sit firmly on them all through the show. David Fincher’s programmed me to do terrible things to Neil."
– Rosamund Pike on Oscar host and Gone Girl costar , whom she (SPOILER ALERT!) brutally kills in the film

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"[The Brits] brought the weather, I apologize for that."
– Best Actor nominee Eddie Redmayne to ABC on the seriously rainy Oscar night

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