Welcome to the future. A place where we’re all so busy teleporting and tweeting that we don’t have time to actually choose between various pairs of footwear. Instead, we wear shoes that can easily transition from one extreme climate to the next, scaling both arctic tundras and sandy dunes with ease, all while still keeping their wearer in the height of 21st century Matrix fashions. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the Teva x Ugg hybrid you never knew you didn’t want.
To be honest, it’s very difficult to talk about this particular piece of footwear when we don’t even know how to refer to it. It’s half boot, half sandal mash-up appearance, however, has us tempted to refer to them as “shoots” and surely no moniker could be more befitting of a shoe that truly looks someone made an oops on the assembly line.
It appears these two titans of ugly fashion footwear (redubbed “normcore”) have teamed up on a hybrid line of shoes perfect for those who are extremely confused by transitional weather. The sole is your standard chunky, rugged Teva sandal base, while the top has portions of the Ugg furry upper attached to the standard nylon Teva straps. In other words, it is the Frankenstein’s monster of footwear that will set you back a cool $225.
Although the partnership of Teva and Ugg seems like a relationship formed in the bowels of Urban Outfitter hell, there are a few locations we could imagine this shoe actually making sense. Bear with us while we elaborate.
To Go Get Breakfast at Sleepaway Camp
For those brisk, chilly walks through the dewy grass to the dining hall.
When You Twisted Your Ankle But Still Want to Look #Fashun
This is the style world equivalent of an Ace bandage wrap.
When You’re a Game of Thrones Extra Only Being Shot from the Waist Up
Sure, shooting in the Moroccan desert gets sweaty, but those long days spent on your feet can also really do a number on your plantar fasciitis.
When Marc Jacobs Invites You to Burning Man
These will pair perfectly with those technicolor “not culturally appropriated” dreads.
If You’re Kim Kardashian
The lady is a devoted fan of a boot/whatever hybrid, plus you have to admit the Teva x Ugg shoe bears a striking resemblance to this early Kanye West footwear design.
Would you wear this shoe? Sound off below!