Say What? 10 Best Quotes of the Globes
"I was going to come in and push you down the stairs."
– , surprising with one of her off-the-cuff jokes during their red carpet run-in
"I want to thank you for not quitting when you thought I [had] told you, ‘Sandra, I’m going to give you herpes,’ when I really meant what to say, ‘Sandra, I’m going to give you an earpiece.’"
– Best director winner Alfonso Cuaron, joking about his language barrier while saluting Gravity leading lady in his acceptance speech
"It’s me, the garbage man. The garbage man who didn’t bring his glasses. Fantastic."
– , going along with Amy Poehler’s monologue joke before introducing nominee Captain Phillips
"Amy Poehler is my first guest, and then Kerry’s baby is my second."
– Seth Meyers, after being ambushed by pregnant Kerry Washington while chatting with
"The only reason you’re not here is I had more sequins."
– Michael Douglas, paying tribute to Behind the Candelabra costar , whom he beat out for best actor in a mini-series or TV movie
"It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age."
– , breaking down the plot of Gravity
"I’d like to use this opportunity to clear up a few things. I did not ever use any prosthetics in this film. That tiny little Brazilian bubble butt was all mine."
– Jared Leto, describing his Golden Globe-winning transformation for Dallas Buyers Club
"Dying is easy; comedy is hard. I believe it was Shia LaBeouf who said that."
– Jim Carrey, taking a swipe at the troubled star’s plagiarism scandal before introducing nominee American Hustle
"And now like a supermodel’s vagina, let’s all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio."
– , introducing presenter (and notorious modelizer) to the stage