Oh No They Didn't! 2009's Craziest Globes Quotes
“Ru, I’m very proud of you and I love you. And don’t hunch. Shoulders back!”
– Demi Moore, mothering daughter Rumer Willis – this year’s Miss Golden Globe – from the stage before announcing the best supporting actor winner (Heath Ledger)
“I still have a cold. It’s not the other thing it used to be.”
– Presenter (and later winner) Colin Farrell, referencing his less-sober days while sniffling onstage
“Hello? Hello? Mama talking! Mama talking!”
– Jennifer Lopez, shushing the crowd as the night’s first presenter. She gave the prize of best supporting actress to Kate Winslet (The Reader).
“I’m so sorry Anne, Meryl, Kristin – oh God, who’s the other one?”
– Kate Winslet, accepting the Globe for best actress and naming her fellow nominees Hathaway, Streep and Scott Thomas – but momentarily forgetting Angelina Jolie
“I’m just wondering if this mercury poisoning is contagious.”
– Mark Wahlberg, teasing Entourage star – and recent mercury victim – Jeremy Piven, while on the red carpet with NBC’s Tiki Barber
“I’m tired of sucking in.”
– Eva Longoria Parker, in a skin-tight Reem Acra gown, to E!’s Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet
“I’m a tranny.”
– Megan Fox, admitting to a few insecurities, despite looking stunning in Ralph Lauren Collection, on the red carpet, to E!
“Last year, I actually got to pee at a urinal next to Martin Scorcese.”
– The Office star Rainn Wilson, on his favorite awards-show moment, to E!
“If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you can find a lot of people there who don’t like you.”
– 30 Rock’s Tina Fey, accepting the award for best TV actress in a comedy
“The Coen Brothers are at it again, writing and directing an original comic masterpiece that focuses on very ordinary, and very dumb people – Brad Pitt.”
– Presenter Don Cheadle, teasing his Ocean’s Thirteen costar, who also appeared in the Coens’ nominated comedy Burn After Reading
“It is a true honor to finally be presenting here at the Golden Globes, although honestly, I wish I got to do this a long time ago in a different era in Hollywood, perhaps maybe like the ’80s, you know? That way, instead of being drunk with Mickey Rourke tonight, I’d be doing coke with Mickey Rourke tonight.”
– Seth Rogen, while presenting the nominees for best screenplay