Grammy 2013's Most Outrageous One-Liners
"I was never even nominated in this category, and I have my own eyelash line. So take that, Bon Iver!"
– , preemptively consoling losers in the best new artist category – and teasing last year’s winner
"We’re definitely not bringing sexy back in this dressing room. Maybe old man back."
– , describing his mindset to before his anticipated Grammys performance
"I am so much more than that: I am a talk-show host, I am a best-selling author, I am a humanitarian."
– An always-joking , trying to steal ‘s thunder before introducing his performance
"This is in HD. Everyone can see our faces, and we are not very young."
– Fun.’s Nate Ruess, remarking on the irony of the group’s winning song, “We Are Young,” and their long road to a Grammy trophy
"It’s heavy on my soul. I’m afraid someone’s going to tackle me."
– , on her borrowed 381-carat diamond necklace
"I would like to thank the swap meet for his hat."
– Jay-Z, using his acceptance speech for “No Church in the Wild” to get in a zinger at co-winner The-Dream’s headgear