As far as style mysteries go, this one is up there with “Where does Kim Kardashian find all those sheer dresses?” and “Does Jessica Simpson own any flat shoes?” That is to say, it’s inscrutable, it’s baffling and we’ll probably never get to the bottom of it. That’s right, we’re talking about Beyoncé‘s recent penchant for posing with something square in front of her stomach.
Splash News Online; T.Jackson/INF; FameFlynet; Felipe Ramales/Splash News Online
Over the past two weeks, the superstar has been snapped by paparazzi over and over again leaving or entering her office building in a variety of outfits, all with one thing in common: She’s clutching an opaque object directly over her lower abdomen. In two of the instances, it was her laptop; in two others, it was a boxy clutch. Being amateur sleuths, we decided to test some theories to see if we could get to the bottom of this mysterious behavior.
Hypothesis: It’s her go-to mani-displaying pose.
It certainly works well for that, but in her black two-piece look, you can hardly see her nails. Beyoncé doesn’t make such rookie mistakes.
Hypothesis: She’s uncomfortable with her skirt length and is trying to preserve her modesty.
We all know Beyoncé looks like this, and thus has nothing to hide.
Hypothesis: It’s part of a workout craze to get the most fit forearms in the galaxy.
Plausible, but we think we would have seen it on Goop first if that were the case.
Hypothesis: She’s using it as a potential weapon in case a fan gets too close.
Though Beyoncé is half of one of the richest couples in the universe, we think even she would not be willing to fling an $1800 laptop or handbag as part of her getaway.
Hypothesis: It’s got the nuclear codes and she’s the only one who can save us.
Actually, we’d believe this one.
Hypothesis: For some strange (or biological — could Blue Ivy be getting a sibling?!) reason, she’s feeling self-conscious about her body, and since she can’t wear sweatpants, this is her only option.
As seen in the jeans-and-tee shot below, she’s as in-shape as ever. And her shoes are $895, in case you were wondering.
247PAPS.TV/Splash News Online
Share your own hypotheses below!
— Alex Apatoff
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