10 Best One-Liners Heard at the 2013 Globes
"I haven’t really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron."
– Amy Poehler, drawing a laugh-out-loud comparison between director Kathryn Bigelow s nominated film and Bigelow’s former marriage, during her opening monologue with cohost
"The Cecil B. DeMille award says as much about the presenter as it does about the recipient."
– , patting himself on the back while introducing lifetime achievement award winner Jodie Foster
"I m hoping I don t leak anytime soon."
– Homeland winner , on her big post-baby night out at the Globes, to
"Harvey [Weinstein], thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today."
– , expressing gratitude to the Silver Linings Playbook producer while accepting her best actress Golden Globe
"Wow, the cast of Downton Abbey has some amazing weed backstage. I can t even walk properly."
– Parks and Recreation’s Aziz Ansari, after being carried onstage by co-presenter Jason Bateman
"I already did my coming out about 1,000 years ago, back in the Stone Age."
– Jodie Foster, addressing her sexuality while being honored with the Cecil B. DeMille award
"Well if you thought that was showing off, Her Majesty, the Queen of England, is about to parachute in in a couple of minutes to make a last-minute pitch for Skyfall."
– Lincoln actor , poking fun at President Clinton s surprise appearance while taking home the best actor in a drama award
"Thank you for letting me be part of your world for a night. It s amazing, we ve been p–ing ourselves laughing."
– A shocked , talking about her fun mum s night out with a pal during her best original song win for Skyfall
"Julia, Tina, Amy and Zooey have respectively gotten me through middle school, mono, a ruptured eardrum and the acute anxiety that populates my entire life, and I worship them."
– Girls creator Lena Dunham, giving her fellow best TV comedy actress nominees a shout-out while accepting her win
"Congratulations, Lena, I m glad we got you through middle school."
– Globes cohost , mock toasting the twentysomething Girls star