'Weird Al' Gives Us the Most Accurate College Fight Song of All Time

The pop parodist takes pains to specify when he's speaking figuratively

“Weird Al” Yankovic – Sports Song from Funny Or Die

As hardcore “Weird Al” Yankovic fans know, the pop parodist doesn’t just spoof the latest hits of artists like Pharrell and Iggy Azalea. He also records wacky songs that parody entire genres, as is the case with "Sports Song," the latest music video from Yankovic’s Mandatory Fun, which takes aim at the underappreciated genre of college fight songs.

With the help of a marching band, Yankovic spells out in exhaustive detail exactly why his team is going to win and your team is going to lose.

“Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat, that theory’s backed up by empirical evidence,” he sings. “We’re going to grind up your guys into burger meat of course, we’re speaking in the figurative sense.”

By the end, Yankovic dispenses with any subtext: “We’re great! You suck! We’re great! You suck!”

It’s a funny gag, especially if you were once (or still are) in a marching band. And if this video awakens deep inside of you a love of verbose sports chants, check out Garfunkel and Oates’ classic “Sports Go Sports” sketch: