Ronda Rousey is opening up about one of her family’s darkest days.
The 31-year-old mixed martial artist, who is now a WWE wrestler, made an emotional visit to E!’s Hollywood Medium with Tyler Henry. In a clip from the episode, which airs in full on Wednesday, Rousey talks candidly about her father killing himself via suicide when she was just 8.
“My dad, he had broke his back,” Rousey explained. “He happened to have a really rare blood disorder that kept him from healing. So he was slowly, for years, getting platelet transfusions and trying to put rods in his back and everything. Eventually they said, ‘You’re going to be a paraplegic and then a quadriplegic and then you’re going to die. And there’s nothing we can do about it.’ “
“And so my dad decided to take matters into his own hands because he was in a huge amount of pain everyday,” she continued. “He couldn’t work anymore, he felt like he was just a drag on the family. And he was very much a person who takes care of everyone. And he drove his car out and he put a hose in the exhaust.”
Sensing she was upset, Henry, 22, expressed his condolences.
Talking to the audience, Rousey said she found an unusual way to manage the emotional pain.
“I remember that when he passed, I would try to just tell myself that he was on a business trip and he would be back,” she said. “That was my way to cope with it.”
Tearing up, she said, “Sorry, I don’t want to get into it too much. But I wouldn’t be crying unless he was awesome. He was the best.”
Rousey’s Hollywood Medium appearance comes after her triumphant WWE debut at WrestleMania 34 over the weekend when she faced off against Stephanie McMahon and her husband, Triple H, in front of a crowd of thousands at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans.
Prior to entering the pro-wrestling world, Rousey —who also won an Olympic bronze medal in judo during the 2008 Olympics — helped bring mixed marital arts into the mainstream. Not only was she UFC’s first ever female bantamweight champion in 2012, she also won five of her first six fights in the sport in the first round.
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After going undefeated, Rousey experienced back-to-back losses, the first to Holly Holm in November 2015 (via a knockout head kick) and the second to Amanda Nunes last December, just 48 seconds into round one at UFC 207.
Since her last loss, Rousey hasn’t stepped into an UFC octagon for a professional fight.
RELATED VIDEO: Ronda Rousey Weds Travis Browne in Hawaii as Groom Gushes She’s ‘Perfect in Every Way’
“What an amazing day!! She is so perfect in every way! She makes me so happy! She is my other half! I Love You @rondarousey #browsey2017” Browne captioned a black-and-white Instagram shot of the pair on their wedding day.
Hollywood Medium with Tyler Henry airs Wednesdays (9 p.m. ET) on E!