Matt Mauser Reveals What Still 'Haunts' Him After Wife Christina's Death in Helicopter Crash
There are some moments that Matt Mauser can't help but keep replaying.
The father of three lost his wife Christina Mauser in January in the same helicopter crash that killed NBA legend Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna, 13.
Christina was a basketball coach at Bryant's Mamba Sports Academy, was traveling with him, Gianna, and six others to a tournament in Thousand Oaks, California, at the time of the crash.
In this week's episode of Facebook Watch series Red Table Talk: The Estefans, Matt talks with singer-songwriter Gloria Estefan and grief expert David Kessler about how he's been doing in the 10 months since Christina's shocking death.
"The last month, it still haunts me," Matt admits in an exclusive clip from the episode. "I have things that I wish I would have said, like the morning she passed. I was sleeping, I'd had a late night before and I'd come home late and my daughter was laying on her chest and they were snuggling."
He continues, "And so I was so tired I went to sleep and she woke up to go to work and she came back to kiss me and I didn't wake up — and I regret not waking up."
In the episode, the Estefan family also recalls the losses of their own loved ones and learns how to find meaning after the death of someone.
In an interview with PEOPLE in August, Matt told PEOPLE that he had been having "better days" as he was "moving through the grief" of Christina's death.
Losing the love of his life has taught Matt to appreciate the little things, and all that they shared in their 16 years together.
"I was very aware of how good she was at things in the moment, but I appreciate her even more now that it's me doing it," he said.
He added, "My wife was my compass. My gift. I had 16 years with this amazing human being who taught me more than anybody else. And now I just have to be able to do that for my kids."
The full episode of Red Table Talk: The Estefans will air Friday at 12 p.m. EST.
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