At a royal appearance last month, the Duchess of Sussex also rejected a curtsy in favor of a warm hug

By Erin Hill
November 04, 2019 12:00 PM

While Meghan Markle has revealed her struggle in the royal spotlight, she’s not at all focused on wanting people to “love” her.

Just two weeks after her revealing documentary with Prince Harry, Meghan said she’s not seeking people’s affection and “doesn’t want people to love her — she just wants them to be able to hear her,” according to The Telegraph’s Bryony Gordon.

The royal mom even wants to distance herself from royal protocol and formalities when on official outings. During a surprise visit last week at the opening of a new location of Luminary Bakery, which trains and employs disadvantaged women, Meghan opened up about her desire to connect with people on a real level during her appearances.

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“One of the things I have realized since being here is that people have an expectation when I’m coming somewhere, so I’m like, let’s just be really relaxed, keep everyone nice and chilled, because at the end of the day we’re all just women. We all have a story to tell, and I feel honored that I am getting to hear yours,” Meghan said in a speech at Luminary Bakery, which trains and employs disadvantaged women.

At another royal appearance last month, Meghan rejected a curtsy in favor of a warm hug.

Meghan Markle
Gareth Fuller/PA Images

“While although Meghan was initially greeted with a curtsy, which would have been a respectful way to greet a member of the royal family in this situation, it’s clear Meghan was trying to show warmth through her offer to hug as a greeting,” Myka Meier, author of Modern Etiquette Made Easy, tells PEOPLE.

During her appearance at the Luminary Bakery, Meghan also spoke candidly about the problem with “instant gratification” in society.

RELATED: Meghan Markle Thanked British Lawmaker for Her Support with a Personal Phone Call

“I was talking about this with someone the other day,” she said. “We get into this habit of wanting things done immediately nowadays. There’s a culture of instant gratification, of the instant fix. But we aren’t mechanical objects that need to be fixed. You’re a wounded creature that needs to be healed, and that takes time. And that’s what I love about this place. It gives you the support to heal.”

Meghan and Harry recently gave fans a rare glimpse of their royal lives in the ITV documentary Harry & Meghan: An African Journey — including both the happiness and the hardships.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry

“Any woman, especially when they’re pregnant, you’re really vulnerable, and so that was made really challenging. And then when you have a newborn, you know. And especially as a woman, it’s a lot,” she said about the pressures of being a new mom int he spotlight. “So you add this on top of just trying to be a new mom or trying to be a newlywed. It’s um…yeah. I guess, also thank you for asking because not many people have asked if I’m okay, but it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.”

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She continued: “I really tried to adopt this British sensibility of a ‘stiff upper lip.’ I really tried, but I think that what that does internally is probably really damaging.”

“I never thought that this would be easy, but I thought it would be fair. And that’s the part that’s really hard to reconcile.”

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